Saturday, September 19, 2009

Sorrow and Hope: A Response to Civil Union and Christian Marriage Committee Preliminary Report

Yesterday the Civil Union and Christian Marriage Committee released its preliminary report. I am deeply grateful for their work and can read in the text the earnestness and love of Christ that the members posses. They were charged with studying “the following, including any policy recommendations growing out of the study:
  • the history of the laws governing marriage and civil union, including current policy debates;
  • how the theology and practice of marriage have developed in the Reformed and broader Christian tradition;
  • the relationship between civil union and Christian marriage;
  • the effects of current laws on same-gender partners and their children; and
  • the place of covenanted same-gender partnerships in the Christian community.”



Having read and reflected upon this report today, I believe they delved deeply into all of their charges. Yet, it is the last one where I always felt like the most crucial issues of this discussion lay. What is the place of covenanted same-gender partnerships in the Christian community? The committee that studied this issue even sought input from the body at large and I along with many others offered submissions. The committee findings and statement are found from page 23-28 of the report.
This is a deeply personal issue for me. I am a lesbian clergy woman who is currently leaving the PC(USA) because of a lack of “place” for me, my wife, and our daughter. We are not leaving because we found no place in congregational life or lacked in fellowship with Christian sisters and brothers. On the contrary, we’ve found much love and support in the church. Christ’s love, welcome, and reconciliation has been alive with us and will continue in these relationships that live beyond denominational confines. Our departure is due to conflicts over polity rather than relationship or theology.
The committee’s mandate also called on them to research the history of marriage which they did well. In fact, I found my own beliefs echoed because I find that marriage as we currently understand it in the church and western culture is a fairly young phenomenon. Biblical images of marriage do not look like what we practice nor is it what most people want for themselves or their children.
Yet, there are deeper messages in the Bible, Christian history, and beyond that tell us not so much about contractual marriage as much as they teach us about covenant relationship. As seen from the beginning of Hebrew Scripture, we are a people who have a deep understanding that God loves us and covenants with us through all times and in all conditions. It is God’s example that we mimic through our interpersonal and intimate relationships. We are always seeking to cultivate the love and growth that covenant relationship nurtures, the love that God instills within us.
This belief is constantly reinforced as I find that most people are doing the best they can to live out that spark of love that is within them. We seek to connect and develop that love through relationships as best we can understand them. Nevertheless, this is a daunting task even in the most supportive circles because we bear so much brokenness and it stunts our ability to cultivate love that nurtures and heals. However, brokenness has not stopped our efforts to deepen love nor will it ever. We join together each day seeking to live out God’s presence and love in this limited yet beautiful life.
This is the story of my growth in Christ and growth within the PC(USA). My church family has been the home I never had growing up. They showed me that more excellent way which included nurturing God’s calling within me to become a pediatric chaplain. Moreover, it is because of Christ’s healing love that I received through others that I was able to cultivate such a remarkable love with my wife Kim and become a parent to Susan.
I suppose that I am not writing this as much in response to the details of the committee’s report as I am in sadness that I must leave a church that always amazes me and fills me with awe. I read this report with tears streaming. Tears of gratitude for all the people I love and love me within the PC(USA). Tears of loss for hopes and dreams that were cultivated brought to fruition within the PC(USA). Tears for a future, at least for now, where I am no longer in the PC(USA). I grieve the loss of a home so beloved that it has taken me years to make the decision to leave.
This report and the committee behind it bear witness to what and who we are when we allow the diversity of the body to work through the Spirit. I am proud of the committee members and their work. Furthermore, I’m deeply grateful that for many same-gender couples, there is a place in the PC(USA) where relationship and connection within the body of Christ is held in higher esteem than conflict and misunderstanding. As we move forward, please know that my constant prayer is found in the committee’s words. “Together, we are the body of Christ, called to live into our Christ-reconciled life together, acting in a manner that lives out our confession ‘Those whom Christ has joined together, let no one separate.’” Amen

Link to preliminary report: http://www.pcusa.org/oga/newsstories/final-prelim-report-civil-union-marriage-spec-cmte-091809.pdf

Response by my friend and Covenant Network National Organizer Tricia Dykers Koenig: https://app.e2ma.net/app/view:CampaignPublic/id:10488.2407656093/rid:3dc4dabfe5bf4a1b5bc41bf718a351bf

Monday, September 7, 2009

Two Brothers and a Hope for Something New

There were two very influential theologians in the twentieth century named Reinhold Niebuhr and H. Richard Niebuhr. They were brothers whose works as Christian ethicists changed the landscape of the Protestant church. I’ve read a great deal from both of them yet I always prefer Reinhold Niebuhr’s conclusions and trajectory. In fact, I consider him my most influential ethicist and favorite theologian. But what I like most about him is not always what he said but that he said and did something. This brings me to my point in writing this.

I frequently have reflections on our experiences where I blend my deeply held religious beliefs, interest in history, and passionate love of life into an thought that I then verbally pass onto others. They often tell me that I should write these down to share with others. My boss is most adamant about this because she believes I have a way of explaining things that would truly help grieving parents (I am a pediatric chaplain). Nevertheless, I don’t write and share these ideas because I feel fearful of putting my ideas out there before they are well thought out and refined… which is another way of saying bulletproof.

This brings me back to the Niebuhr brothers. I was told by someone who actually knew them as well as a seminary professor of mine that the reason Reinhold Niebuhr wrote so much more prolifically than his brother is that he did not regret having to go back and say something to the effect of, “I’ve grown since I wrote that and I’ve changed my stance.” However, H. Richard Niebuhr would spend much more time pouring over his writings before letting anyone see them. He was certainly never confined by his need to “be sure” of what he was saying before putting it out in a public arena as he did produce and publish several books, articles, and letters. Yet, even in his political stances, he was still bound by this need to think, examine, and consider to the point of inaction or late action. Reinhold Niebuhr was not this way. He said boldly what he believed and acted out those ideals.

I want that boldness but more importantly, I want that humility. I want to start writing these experiences and reflections for myself as well as others. The more time I spend with others, the more important it seems to share these things with one another and not leave them locked away. So, please accept this as my foray into blogging on chaplaincy, life experiences, and revelations of the Spirit. I hope this is an experience of growth, developing connections, cultivating humility, and much more.