Post Election Blues... For Everyone

I always have such a difficult time explaining why I, as an Appalachian-lesbian-mother-chaplain-lover of people, struggle to be energized by presidential elections. People look at me with the "how can you not love Obama" look. I like him. I voted for him. Yet somehow I feel like this whole election missed the point. The constitution places the President primarily in charge of foreign policy. But what really effects most of our lives (clearly since we are at war this is not true for everyone) is local & state politics. Do you know who your alderman is? I do. Do you know where most of your tax dollars go? I do. And the bulk of the political impact on my life comes from the state & local level rather than the Feds. So why are people so excited/disappointed about the presidential election when most of the things that effect our education, economy, & security are close to home?

Please don't misunderstand me. I know what is at stake on a federal level. Nevertheless, I believe that more people are effected by what is happening close to home. What good does it do anyone to have a president who is pro gay marriage if they are living in a food desert or can't hope for a future because their schools are so bad?

National Coming Out Day... Again

Tomorrow is National Coming Out Day and it always puts me in a pensive mood. I think back on the years of my life when coming out was a constant strain due to fear of actual and perceived discrimination and violence. I also reflect on the privilege that I have now as I work for a company that has progressive policies and live in a city where being a lesbian makes me just one in a crowd of… well… all...

kinds of people. Most especially I find myself reflecting on those who still struggle to find safety, acceptance, and love in a world that can be hostile to someone who is struggling to find their way.

I applaud and honor all those who stand with courage to claim their sexuality today and every day. All of us who have and will come out find hope in one another. But trust me when I tell you that I want you to be more to me than the “gay couple down the street” or the “straight ally upstairs.” And I hope I’m more to you. As Pollyanna as it may seem, I still long for a day when I can just be Lavender rather than “the lesbian chaplain” or “the dyke next door.” The fact of the matter is that my sexuality has always felt like an exaggerated element of my life because I had to work so hard to protect it from others. It became a larger detail than what I do for a living or how I treat people. I understand that we are people of labels and categories. We’ve been at it since the day God commissioned Adam to name the animals. Nevertheless, I wish my label was related to the content of my character rather than my sexuality, race, gender, class, education, or age.

On this National Coming Out Day, I pay tribute to all those who stand up for who they are. I also grieve for those who still struggle. And most especially I hope for a day when the quality of our love is of greater importance than who we love.

Feast of Life

Ordinary 20B – sermon based upon John 6:51-58

 

When I sat down to read all four of the lectionary texts at the beginning of the week, I was struck by how they all pointed to choices we had to make.  It was as if God was saying, My love, My work, My grace are here and now you must choose how you want to participate in it.  And none of the texts highlight that as much as this passage in the Gospel of John.  But there’s more going on here than just an early sneak peek at a ritual we call communion.  Jesus is pushing back hard and we should ask ourselves why. 

To start off, we should look at what’s going on here.  But to do that, we need to put our minds in a different place.  Pretend for a moment that you don’t know what communion is.  Pretend that you live in a culture that is very faithful about observing right and proper ways of handling food as a way of showing thanks to God for the blessing.  Pretend for a moment you live in a time where superstitious groups outside your culture thought there was something mystical about blood and practiced odd sacrifices and sometimes even drank human blood in search of eternal life.  Imagine how scary that must be.  Imagine how much safer you feel holding tight to your rituals.  Are you there yet?  If you are, then you are thinking like a 1^st century Jew. 

 

Now that you’re thinking like that you’re ready to hear just how jarring and bizarre Jesus’ words sound.  So, what was going on in this passage?

 

Well, in typical fashion, Jesus has drawn a crowd.  He’s already been talking to a group of people, probably religious leaders, in a synagogue and sharing wisdom and answering their questions.  While talking to them, he gets the crowd stirred up and anxious because he uses some imagery that appalls them.  He starts talking about eating his flesh.  Even before our passage from today’s lectionary, he says in verse 35, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”  So, he’s already rolled out this language.  And they’re getting uncomfortable.

 

Next, in verse 41 it says, “the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, ‘I am the bread that came down from heaven.’ They said, ‘Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?’”  So, they’re just trying to make sense of this.  Has Jesus, the son of Joseph and Marry whom they’ve seen running around since he was knee high to a grasshopper, converted to some pagan religion?  Who is he to claim the power of God?  It would be like one of the young adults from this congregation going off to college and coming back to say, “I’m the son of God and if you want to get closer to God, you need to believe in me and eat what I give you.”  If that happened, you’d think the kid has gone and joined a cult!

 

So, when we break into the lectionary passage for today at verse 51, it’s no wonder the folks are uncomfortable and grumbling.  Jesus is freaking them out.  And in verse 52 when it says “The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, ‘How can this man give us his flesh to eat?’” what’s really going on is not just a argument.  The Greek verb is indicates a certain level of anger and violence on their part.

 

And what does Jesus do?  He pushes back even harder.  He says “Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.”  You may think this is just a restatement but it’s not.  In verses 49-51, Jesus had spoken about “eating” the bread from heaven, using the Greek verb “esthio.” But in verse 53 he starts using a much different verb, “trogo.”  This word is not just to eat.  It means to gnaw audibly.  And the nuance of it indicates gnawing and eating with urgency. It is eating as though life depends on it.

 

Now remember, we’ve imagined ourselves in that day and time.  We have no idea what communion is and we’re very afraid of people who drink blood so hearing this is bizarre and frightening.  Are you disturbed yet?  Do you have a good image of what was going on?  I hope so.

 

Oh, and one more piece of context we should probably know is that the book of John is a Gnostic Gospel.  If you want to know more about that, ask me later.  But for today’s purposes, what we need to know is that more than any other Gospel, when we read something in John, there are always multiple layers of truth.  John uses more metaphor, poetic imagery, and symbolism than any other Gospel. 

 

Now zoom forward to today.  We know the outcome of Jesus’ life.  We hear the words of institution regularly.  We are probably still afraid of cults that drink blood but it’s not part of our everyday life.  So from here, let’s ask ourselves, why would Jesus push at them so hard? What was Jesus trying to do by making them so uncomfortable?

 

Well, I’m no scholar but from what I’ve read and understand, I think it comes down to two things: relationship and participation.  Jesus knew that the people he was talking to needed something jarring to make them have a different relationship with God and their faith.  Remember most of them are likely religious leaders who are not just set in their ways but also a bit arrogant about their faith.  They are sure they know the will and mind of God.  They know what steps to take day in and day out to be faithful.  They live by conforming to rules rather than being compelled by a hunger for deeper knowledge of God.  So, it seems to me that Jesus is trying to jar them into seeking God more fully because they are not just hungry but famished.  He’s trying to tell them that they can participate in the love and creation of God here and now… relationship and participation.

 

A word of caution:  I’m not in any way calling the Jews a people of flat faith.  As the first people of covenant with God, they hold a richness and history of incredible faith that has overcome struggle that would make most of us crumble.  I am only referring to the particular folks Jesus is talking to in this synagogue in Capernaum.  Just like I do standing here, Jesus always tailored his message to the listener so this is not a condemnation of the Jewish faith.  It is a condemnation of living a faith without hunger and passion.

 

Now, why did we just go through that entire context explanation?  Well, first of all, if we just read it without the context, we’re likely to think this is just about communion and it’s not.  But more importantly, just like people then, we need our faith challenged and jarred from time to time to remind us of why we come here and what our calling is.

 

Remember I said two words, relationship and participation.  How often does our faith feel like it gets flattened out into “do this and don’t do that so God will be happy with us.”?  I suspect more than we would like to admit.  Yet, the language of Jesus calls us to be unrestrained and unleash our hunger for God in ravenous, gnawing, messy, satisfying, and mysterious ways.  We are invited to gulp until quenched like never before.  A restrained faith is a faith that has not fully responded to a relationship with God and has not yet claimed full participation in the ongoing revelation of God with us. 

 

And what is our reward for living like this?  Why would we let the wildly whirling Spirit of God fill us?  Because Christ tells promises us eternal fullness when we gnaw at the trough of divine food.  He tells us “Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them.”  It’s about relationship and participation.

 

So what do we do with all this?  Well, I’m going to suggest some steps that might help jar us out of the flat places in our faith. 

1.    Get really honest about the empty places in our lives.  Where are we hungry, even starved for fullness that lasts?  Where have we been drinking yet still remain thirsty?  Where have we tried to fill those holes with flat rules rather than abundant love?

2.    Listen for God’s guidance.  In what ways is God leading us to be filled?  What experiences have we already had of getting a taste of the true divine food?  What can we do to dive deeper into the banquet of love God calls us to?

3.    Make the relationship grow by being open to God’s outpouring to us.  Who can teach us something we didn’t understand before?  Where have we missed God in our presence?  How can we remain open to God even when it’s scary?

4.    Make the participation grow by sharing the passion and feeding other’s hunger.  Who else can we join with in growing our faith?  Who can we share abundant love with?  Who has been unwelcome or afraid to come to this table that we can reach to?

 

Sisters and brothers, we are not called to be the frozen chosen.  We are called to abundant life.  Jesus uses jarring language and images to remind us of the deep hunger that lives in each of us.  He invites us to eat and drink as if our lives depend on it.  We are invited into relationship with God because God sent love to us first.  We are invited into participation with God through the body of Christ.  And we are invited to a feast that will fill us in ways that gives life abundant and eternal.  Amen.

 

Christian and Human

Ordinary 19B – sermon based upon Psalm 130 & Ephesians 4:25-5:2

 

Good morning.  It’s wonderful to be with you this today and I’ll be with you next week as well.  So, I hope to catch up on some of the happenings in your lives and chat during coffee hour and such.  Regardless, I want you to know that you’ve remained in my heart and prayers.

 

Well, I’m sure you won’t find this surprising but I’m enthralled by today’s scripture passages.  They have so much to offer.  Both of them tell us so much about what a lived faith looks like… full of faults and yet hopeful.

 

In fact, on Monday when I submitted my part of the worship planning, including the sermon title, what stuck out to me was this notion of being so deeply flawed yet so full of faith and hope in God’s love, grace, and forgiveness.  From that I submitted the title in your bulletin of “Christian and Human.”  But if I was titling what this sermon has evolved into as I completed it, I might have titled it, “A Guide to Christian Dialog.” 

 

In this passage we get a glimpse into the early church and how they related.  All the Pastoral letters in the New Testament are quite wonderful in that way.  They show us a way of talking with and relating to people that is concerned primarily with the relationship between people instead of drawing lines between them.

 

In just the first few lines of this passage, we find out that lots of people’s flaws and sins are out there in the open for all to see.  So much so that the writer of the letter knows there to be thievery, dishonesty, resentfulness, and bitter backbiting in that church.  You see, the early church was made up as much or more so by people living on the edges of society like criminals as it was by people engaged in more respectable forms of theft like tax collectors.  And resentfulness… well, there isn’t a group or person on this planet that hasn’t been plagued by that one. 

 

So this young church in Ephesus needed guidance on how to live and the writer of this letter, being a good pastor, was offering them such help.  But we can learn a lot more from this than who was in the early church and how they were helped.  In this day and time, we don’t need someone to tell us that stealing is wrong.  We know.  And we don’t need to be reminded that anger chips away at our relationships if we don’t handle it appropriately because we’ve lived it for too long already.  And most of us know that bitterness destroys us, even if we have a hard time recognizing when we’re feeling or being that way.

 

So rather than a guided to do’s and don’ts, the lesson most of us need from this passage is a guide to being Christian together… to walk, and talk, and live together.  Whether it’s us that struggles with how to talk and deal with one another or if we’re on the receiving end other’s struggles, the fact remains that we all need help supporting our relationships with Christian sisters and brothers.

 

Now before you say to me, “But Pastor Lavender, the people I really struggle talking to are people of other faiths or no faith at all…” let me say that what this passage teaches is good for all relationships.  If you’d like to take the lessons out in the world, go right ahead. I’m sure Jesus would approve.  But because the writer of this letter focused on the Christian community I am too.  And it’s good to start close to home because if we as a church can’t figure out how to love and live with one another, then we have no witness for the world.

 

So let’s look at this passage.  We’re still the same resentful, dishonest people today as humanity was then.  But most people in the church today hide it better which makes us act even more indignant when one of our members gets caught for cheating on taxes, reneging on a promise, or treating another badly.  In some ways, we’ve gotten so good at hiding our faults that our biggest fear is being found out.  Deep on the inside, we think to ourselves, “if they really knew how much I struggle to be honest or faithful or generous, they wouldn’t like me very much.” 

 

So, the first big lesson this scripture reminds us of is that we are all deeply flawed.  Not a one of us isn’t constantly struggling with how to be more loving, generous, honest, nurturing, forgiving, and grace-filled.  We are all sinners and I don’t think I need to beat that one into the ground too much because I suspect that most of us beat ourselves over the head enough already.  But what does deserve a reminder is that forgiveness is a gift from God and also a gift we should extend to ourselves and others.  I suspect that we can start from a place of remembering how much we fear the judgment of others and struggle, then maybe our dealings with one another can be a bit more gentle and loving as well. 

 

This brings me to the second lesson from this passage.  The writer is definitely naming right and wrong ways of being but he isn’t wagging his finger in any one person’s face.  His primary concern is with cultivating a relationship and being connected with other members of the body of Christ.  He knows judgment belongs to God.  His job is to love first and the guidance, nurture, and teachings will fall into place later.  Which is our second takeaway: We are to love each other first and foremost.  If something like an ideal or judgment stands in the way of loving someone else, it isn’t their sin that’s the problem.  And when others see us only as a circumstance in our lives or a problem we’re facing rather than as a beloved child of God, the problem isn’t with our situation.

 

This pastor knows as it says in verse 29 that when judgmental or harsh talk comes out of our mouths, relationships are destroyed.  He reminds us to say “only what is useful for building up… so that [our] words may give grace to those who hear.”  Even his own way of talking to them puts their wellbeing and relationship first above ideals and judgment.  And in later verses he reminds us to “Put away… all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander… and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven [us].”

 

When I was researching this sermon I read a commentary by Rev. Mary Ricketts that struck me in some pretty powerful ways.  She wrote, “We might think this is obvious since we believe that God is present in and a part of all of our relationships, but it is amazing how often we speak as though God is nowhere near us… I find it odd how often faith communities want to argue about ‘what the Bible says,’ while ignoring these types of texts that encourage straight talk, forgiveness and extravagant love. Perhaps we should care more about the words we said and how we said them than whether we agreed with one another.”

 

And if you think about that, isn’t it the truth?  How many of us have been sucked in by all the arguing and dialog around Chick-Fil-A lately?  I venture to guess most of us have at least had 1 conversation in the past 3 weeks about it.  But in case you missed it, here’s the rundown:  Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy said with the same consistency that the company has always held that they honor and uphold the “biblical definition of the family unit.”  We can discuss at another time what might be right or wrong or nuanced or complicated with that statement but what is more noteworthy is the vile social eruption this has created.  Of even greater note is the fact that some of the most hateful statements have been said by Christians on various sides of this issue.

 

This is exactly what the pastor writing this letter was talking about.  What we say and how we say it sometimes hurts more than what we believe.  And we can’t even get to the point of talking about what we believe when we’re too busy hurling stones or ducking from ones being hurled at us.

 

If you’ve been one of the handful of people that have actually had meaningful dialog as a result of this Chick-Fil-A brouhaha, I’m glad.  But I’ve been busy dodging the boulders being hurled as people I love say mean things about other people I love… Christian sisters and brothers putting belief about one particular issue ahead of loving each other first.  It’s been hard.

 

Look, y’all know me and know that I spend most of my time wondering how to get it right and if we got it right.  I rarely stand firmly and say that I know fully the will of God because God is just so much more than I can fully comprehend.  But this is one of those times that I will take such a stand.  I know with absolute certainty that the minute I let the ideas in my head stand in the way of loving you as a person is the minute I’m on the wrong side of God’s will.

 

And lest you think I’m judging harshly the folks who have been passionately debating this issue and even the ones who’ve hurled stones, I’m not.  I understand the conviction, earnest faith, and fears that underlie these types of debates gone wild.  In fact, it’s from a position of compassion for just how hard it is to be “imitators of God” like the scripture says that I bring it up.  And I only bring it up here with you because I know you and you know me so we have the relationship to talk about this without fearing the judgment of one another.  I would never mention such a controversy if I were preaching in a church unknown to me for fear of being misheard.

 

Which brings me to the final lesson for us to take from this passage.  This entire pastoral letter to the church in Ephesus would never have been written if people weren’t hungry to continue to grow in faith.  And that’s where we still are today.  No matter how we struggle with sin… no matter which people we struggle to love… no matter where we are in our faith journey as individuals or as a community, as long as we continue to be open to God’s outpouring of love, we will grow in faith.

 

Sisters and brothers, this is our calling: love God, love one another, love ourselves.  Gracious, extravagant, forgiving, nurturing, abundant love… if that’s what we’re seeking or if that’s our starting place with one another and God, then we can’t go wrong.  Amen.

Brief Political Rant

If conservative politicians think corporations will leave the US if tax loopholes are closed, why are they throwing stones at the government? Where is the outrage that companies would function in such unjust and manipulative ways? Exploiting loopholes is still cheating because it violates the spirit of the law. Holding cheaters accountable is not unAmerican.

Further Travels Along the Way

In June of 2010 I began working as the regular supply pastor at a Presbyterian church (PCUSA affiliated) in Northwest Indiana.  At the time, it seemed like somewhat of a cruel irony since I had left the PCUSA to become UCC after meeting and marrying my wife which put me at odds with PCUSA polity.  Nevertheless, this church seemed like the place God was directing me so I tried to stay open to where my faith journey and calling was leading. 

Among my first hurdles were those of ethics and transparency.  I am gay and my wife and daughter would likely come with me to church.  The exiting interim minister had known me for years and knew about my sexuality but I didn’t think she outted me to the church.  So, I had to make a decision.

How was I going to answer the questions?  Would I just go ahead and come out?  What was the right thing to do so that I had integrity while not opening my family to undue scrutiny?  Furthermore, I didn’t want to bring to the church additional turmoil in the midst of a time that was already fragile.

Very quickly I decided to answer any questions from congregants honestly but not bring up the fact that I’m gay.  I advised my family to do the same.  All the same, we did not necessarily go about drawing attention to ourselves in that way.  My reasoning for this choice was three fold.  First, I personally have borne much pain as some of my Christian sisters and brothers have hurled stones of hatred and fear at me over the years.  It’s been a tough journey that I still weep over from time to time.  Second, as a family, we did not have a need to be supported in that faith community so our transparency was not necessary for our well-being.  Likewise, we did not need the pain that would come with a negative outcome.  Third, and most importantly, I believed my time with them would be short and deemed the painful transitions of the church and the existing sorrow of its members to be more important to address than introducing an additional issue that would only serve to distract them from what they actually needed.  They had already been though too much to have someone “dump” an extra issue on them.  They deserved to grieve and grow through their existing difficulties before dealing with one more thing. 

With all that in mind I moved forward and what I thought was going to be a “few preaching gigs” turned into more and ultimately lasted 20 months before they called a full time pastor.

I didn’t realize it would happen but I quickly fell in love with the people at that church.  I saw in them such love for one another and a deep faith.  They could not have endured the kind of pain they had without it.  You see, in the past 10 years they had lost a much beloved pastor and then had a series of short lived calls and interims that introduced various conflicts and near scandals (the reasons for this are so complicated I will not even dare deal with it in this writing because I can never do their experience justice).  In the face of all this strife, the church and its programs survived... they even thrived in some ways.  It was easy to for me to admire and even love them.

It seemed that they loved me too.  They liked my preaching style of balancing teaching with practical ways of living faithfully.  They appreciated my reluctance to make grand claims on behalf of God in favor of journeying together.  Most of all, they loved the way I loved them.  For a group of people who had felt rejected and shat upon, they just wanted so badly to know that it wasn’t their fault and that they were still loved by God... and a pastor.  I could give them that.

One of my early sermons at the church was entitled “Along the Way” and was based upon Psalm 107:1-9, 43.  In it I said, “this is a passage about life happening.  Life includes the joyous and the tragic and all that lies in between.  Not all these events happen because of God but God is in the midst of them and still with us after them.  Our job is to be open to God’s help.  Our job is to keep journeying.  Our job is to share in the journey with others around us.  And we do this with hope knowing God is with us all along the way.”

“Along the way” became a phrase that I would utter many many more times during my service at that church.  It became my mantra to them as I sought to illuminate God’s presence and work in their midst.  It also became a mantra to myself as I experienced a home and sense of calling like I had not previously had or expected.

In my time there, I never did out myself from the pulpit even though I uplifted the justices issues associated with gender and sexuality.  I kept my emphasis on what they needed most.  Even as my sexuality became known to many in the congregation, what people stayed focused upon was what we had in common as people of faith trying to find our way forward.  With all the talk in our culture about what is wrong with the church, let me tell you that what is right was the people of that church staying focused on loving one another and honoring faith. 

Don’t get me wrong.  It wasn’t always easy.  I know for a fact, my sexuality became a catalyst for heated discussion amongst the Pastor Nominating Committee.  Also, I had many conversations with congregants who were unaware of my sexuality as they made their opinions known about Presbyterian polity, theology, and sexuality.  They said things that were insensitive and at times even hateful.  Yet, my response was always to broaden our understanding of love and keep us focused upon what God is doing and calling us to.

In the months since my time ended at that church, I’ve had time to reflect on what this journey meant and how it touched me in ways I never imagined.  I’ve come to believe even more in the mantra of God with us “along the way” because of the relationships that my family and I have formed with the people of that church.  Our lives are forever changed and better because of them.  Furthermore, the church’s constant affirmation of God’s gifts in me and my time with them served to heal old wounds that I thought would always be festering.  Honestly, I rarely know where God is leading me but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that God has been, is, and will be with us all along the way.  Amen.

Rant of Sorrow

Pastors advocating concentration camps, liberals spewing hatred at conservatives, and at the heart of it all there are millions everyday folks suffering. Who are we? This is not Christianity! If we Christians can’t figure out how to be together, then we have no witness for the world. When people who serve the same Christ can’t stomach sitting at the same table together, there is a bigger problem than our theology. Our souls are at risk. God have mercy on us.

Have we stopped to take account of how much money, donated by everyday faithful people, gets sucked up in Christians trying to fight one another on flashpoint issues like homosexuality? I’m not saying that it shouldn’t be addressed. I’m just saying that if we took that money and tried to work together then the fight might dissolve into appreciation for one another’s faith.