Christian and Human

Ordinary 19B – sermon based upon Psalm 130 & Ephesians 4:25-5:2

 

Good morning.  It’s wonderful to be with you this today and I’ll be with you next week as well.  So, I hope to catch up on some of the happenings in your lives and chat during coffee hour and such.  Regardless, I want you to know that you’ve remained in my heart and prayers.

 

Well, I’m sure you won’t find this surprising but I’m enthralled by today’s scripture passages.  They have so much to offer.  Both of them tell us so much about what a lived faith looks like… full of faults and yet hopeful.

 

In fact, on Monday when I submitted my part of the worship planning, including the sermon title, what stuck out to me was this notion of being so deeply flawed yet so full of faith and hope in God’s love, grace, and forgiveness.  From that I submitted the title in your bulletin of “Christian and Human.”  But if I was titling what this sermon has evolved into as I completed it, I might have titled it, “A Guide to Christian Dialog.” 

 

In this passage we get a glimpse into the early church and how they related.  All the Pastoral letters in the New Testament are quite wonderful in that way.  They show us a way of talking with and relating to people that is concerned primarily with the relationship between people instead of drawing lines between them.

 

In just the first few lines of this passage, we find out that lots of people’s flaws and sins are out there in the open for all to see.  So much so that the writer of the letter knows there to be thievery, dishonesty, resentfulness, and bitter backbiting in that church.  You see, the early church was made up as much or more so by people living on the edges of society like criminals as it was by people engaged in more respectable forms of theft like tax collectors.  And resentfulness… well, there isn’t a group or person on this planet that hasn’t been plagued by that one. 

 

So this young church in Ephesus needed guidance on how to live and the writer of this letter, being a good pastor, was offering them such help.  But we can learn a lot more from this than who was in the early church and how they were helped.  In this day and time, we don’t need someone to tell us that stealing is wrong.  We know.  And we don’t need to be reminded that anger chips away at our relationships if we don’t handle it appropriately because we’ve lived it for too long already.  And most of us know that bitterness destroys us, even if we have a hard time recognizing when we’re feeling or being that way.

 

So rather than a guided to do’s and don’ts, the lesson most of us need from this passage is a guide to being Christian together… to walk, and talk, and live together.  Whether it’s us that struggles with how to talk and deal with one another or if we’re on the receiving end other’s struggles, the fact remains that we all need help supporting our relationships with Christian sisters and brothers.

 

Now before you say to me, “But Pastor Lavender, the people I really struggle talking to are people of other faiths or no faith at all…” let me say that what this passage teaches is good for all relationships.  If you’d like to take the lessons out in the world, go right ahead. I’m sure Jesus would approve.  But because the writer of this letter focused on the Christian community I am too.  And it’s good to start close to home because if we as a church can’t figure out how to love and live with one another, then we have no witness for the world.

 

So let’s look at this passage.  We’re still the same resentful, dishonest people today as humanity was then.  But most people in the church today hide it better which makes us act even more indignant when one of our members gets caught for cheating on taxes, reneging on a promise, or treating another badly.  In some ways, we’ve gotten so good at hiding our faults that our biggest fear is being found out.  Deep on the inside, we think to ourselves, “if they really knew how much I struggle to be honest or faithful or generous, they wouldn’t like me very much.” 

 

So, the first big lesson this scripture reminds us of is that we are all deeply flawed.  Not a one of us isn’t constantly struggling with how to be more loving, generous, honest, nurturing, forgiving, and grace-filled.  We are all sinners and I don’t think I need to beat that one into the ground too much because I suspect that most of us beat ourselves over the head enough already.  But what does deserve a reminder is that forgiveness is a gift from God and also a gift we should extend to ourselves and others.  I suspect that we can start from a place of remembering how much we fear the judgment of others and struggle, then maybe our dealings with one another can be a bit more gentle and loving as well. 

 

This brings me to the second lesson from this passage.  The writer is definitely naming right and wrong ways of being but he isn’t wagging his finger in any one person’s face.  His primary concern is with cultivating a relationship and being connected with other members of the body of Christ.  He knows judgment belongs to God.  His job is to love first and the guidance, nurture, and teachings will fall into place later.  Which is our second takeaway: We are to love each other first and foremost.  If something like an ideal or judgment stands in the way of loving someone else, it isn’t their sin that’s the problem.  And when others see us only as a circumstance in our lives or a problem we’re facing rather than as a beloved child of God, the problem isn’t with our situation.

 

This pastor knows as it says in verse 29 that when judgmental or harsh talk comes out of our mouths, relationships are destroyed.  He reminds us to say “only what is useful for building up… so that [our] words may give grace to those who hear.”  Even his own way of talking to them puts their wellbeing and relationship first above ideals and judgment.  And in later verses he reminds us to “Put away… all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander… and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven [us].”

 

When I was researching this sermon I read a commentary by Rev. Mary Ricketts that struck me in some pretty powerful ways.  She wrote, “We might think this is obvious since we believe that God is present in and a part of all of our relationships, but it is amazing how often we speak as though God is nowhere near us… I find it odd how often faith communities want to argue about ‘what the Bible says,’ while ignoring these types of texts that encourage straight talk, forgiveness and extravagant love. Perhaps we should care more about the words we said and how we said them than whether we agreed with one another.”

 

And if you think about that, isn’t it the truth?  How many of us have been sucked in by all the arguing and dialog around Chick-Fil-A lately?  I venture to guess most of us have at least had 1 conversation in the past 3 weeks about it.  But in case you missed it, here’s the rundown:  Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy said with the same consistency that the company has always held that they honor and uphold the “biblical definition of the family unit.”  We can discuss at another time what might be right or wrong or nuanced or complicated with that statement but what is more noteworthy is the vile social eruption this has created.  Of even greater note is the fact that some of the most hateful statements have been said by Christians on various sides of this issue.

 

This is exactly what the pastor writing this letter was talking about.  What we say and how we say it sometimes hurts more than what we believe.  And we can’t even get to the point of talking about what we believe when we’re too busy hurling stones or ducking from ones being hurled at us.

 

If you’ve been one of the handful of people that have actually had meaningful dialog as a result of this Chick-Fil-A brouhaha, I’m glad.  But I’ve been busy dodging the boulders being hurled as people I love say mean things about other people I love… Christian sisters and brothers putting belief about one particular issue ahead of loving each other first.  It’s been hard.

 

Look, y’all know me and know that I spend most of my time wondering how to get it right and if we got it right.  I rarely stand firmly and say that I know fully the will of God because God is just so much more than I can fully comprehend.  But this is one of those times that I will take such a stand.  I know with absolute certainty that the minute I let the ideas in my head stand in the way of loving you as a person is the minute I’m on the wrong side of God’s will.

 

And lest you think I’m judging harshly the folks who have been passionately debating this issue and even the ones who’ve hurled stones, I’m not.  I understand the conviction, earnest faith, and fears that underlie these types of debates gone wild.  In fact, it’s from a position of compassion for just how hard it is to be “imitators of God” like the scripture says that I bring it up.  And I only bring it up here with you because I know you and you know me so we have the relationship to talk about this without fearing the judgment of one another.  I would never mention such a controversy if I were preaching in a church unknown to me for fear of being misheard.

 

Which brings me to the final lesson for us to take from this passage.  This entire pastoral letter to the church in Ephesus would never have been written if people weren’t hungry to continue to grow in faith.  And that’s where we still are today.  No matter how we struggle with sin… no matter which people we struggle to love… no matter where we are in our faith journey as individuals or as a community, as long as we continue to be open to God’s outpouring of love, we will grow in faith.

 

Sisters and brothers, this is our calling: love God, love one another, love ourselves.  Gracious, extravagant, forgiving, nurturing, abundant love… if that’s what we’re seeking or if that’s our starting place with one another and God, then we can’t go wrong.  Amen.