Further Travels Along the Way

In June of 2010 I began working as the regular supply pastor at a Presbyterian church (PCUSA affiliated) in Northwest Indiana.  At the time, it seemed like somewhat of a cruel irony since I had left the PCUSA to become UCC after meeting and marrying my wife which put me at odds with PCUSA polity.  Nevertheless, this church seemed like the place God was directing me so I tried to stay open to where my faith journey and calling was leading. 

Among my first hurdles were those of ethics and transparency.  I am gay and my wife and daughter would likely come with me to church.  The exiting interim minister had known me for years and knew about my sexuality but I didn’t think she outted me to the church.  So, I had to make a decision.

How was I going to answer the questions?  Would I just go ahead and come out?  What was the right thing to do so that I had integrity while not opening my family to undue scrutiny?  Furthermore, I didn’t want to bring to the church additional turmoil in the midst of a time that was already fragile.

Very quickly I decided to answer any questions from congregants honestly but not bring up the fact that I’m gay.  I advised my family to do the same.  All the same, we did not necessarily go about drawing attention to ourselves in that way.  My reasoning for this choice was three fold.  First, I personally have borne much pain as some of my Christian sisters and brothers have hurled stones of hatred and fear at me over the years.  It’s been a tough journey that I still weep over from time to time.  Second, as a family, we did not have a need to be supported in that faith community so our transparency was not necessary for our well-being.  Likewise, we did not need the pain that would come with a negative outcome.  Third, and most importantly, I believed my time with them would be short and deemed the painful transitions of the church and the existing sorrow of its members to be more important to address than introducing an additional issue that would only serve to distract them from what they actually needed.  They had already been though too much to have someone “dump” an extra issue on them.  They deserved to grieve and grow through their existing difficulties before dealing with one more thing. 

With all that in mind I moved forward and what I thought was going to be a “few preaching gigs” turned into more and ultimately lasted 20 months before they called a full time pastor.

I didn’t realize it would happen but I quickly fell in love with the people at that church.  I saw in them such love for one another and a deep faith.  They could not have endured the kind of pain they had without it.  You see, in the past 10 years they had lost a much beloved pastor and then had a series of short lived calls and interims that introduced various conflicts and near scandals (the reasons for this are so complicated I will not even dare deal with it in this writing because I can never do their experience justice).  In the face of all this strife, the church and its programs survived... they even thrived in some ways.  It was easy to for me to admire and even love them.

It seemed that they loved me too.  They liked my preaching style of balancing teaching with practical ways of living faithfully.  They appreciated my reluctance to make grand claims on behalf of God in favor of journeying together.  Most of all, they loved the way I loved them.  For a group of people who had felt rejected and shat upon, they just wanted so badly to know that it wasn’t their fault and that they were still loved by God... and a pastor.  I could give them that.

One of my early sermons at the church was entitled “Along the Way” and was based upon Psalm 107:1-9, 43.  In it I said, “this is a passage about life happening.  Life includes the joyous and the tragic and all that lies in between.  Not all these events happen because of God but God is in the midst of them and still with us after them.  Our job is to be open to God’s help.  Our job is to keep journeying.  Our job is to share in the journey with others around us.  And we do this with hope knowing God is with us all along the way.”

“Along the way” became a phrase that I would utter many many more times during my service at that church.  It became my mantra to them as I sought to illuminate God’s presence and work in their midst.  It also became a mantra to myself as I experienced a home and sense of calling like I had not previously had or expected.

In my time there, I never did out myself from the pulpit even though I uplifted the justices issues associated with gender and sexuality.  I kept my emphasis on what they needed most.  Even as my sexuality became known to many in the congregation, what people stayed focused upon was what we had in common as people of faith trying to find our way forward.  With all the talk in our culture about what is wrong with the church, let me tell you that what is right was the people of that church staying focused on loving one another and honoring faith. 

Don’t get me wrong.  It wasn’t always easy.  I know for a fact, my sexuality became a catalyst for heated discussion amongst the Pastor Nominating Committee.  Also, I had many conversations with congregants who were unaware of my sexuality as they made their opinions known about Presbyterian polity, theology, and sexuality.  They said things that were insensitive and at times even hateful.  Yet, my response was always to broaden our understanding of love and keep us focused upon what God is doing and calling us to.

In the months since my time ended at that church, I’ve had time to reflect on what this journey meant and how it touched me in ways I never imagined.  I’ve come to believe even more in the mantra of God with us “along the way” because of the relationships that my family and I have formed with the people of that church.  Our lives are forever changed and better because of them.  Furthermore, the church’s constant affirmation of God’s gifts in me and my time with them served to heal old wounds that I thought would always be festering.  Honestly, I rarely know where God is leading me but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that God has been, is, and will be with us all along the way.  Amen.

A Brief Encounter

Ordinary 22A – A sermon based upon Exodus 3:1-15

Good morning.  It is a true blessing to be back with you and I’ll be here for the next few weeks.  I’ve missed you but you’ve remained in my prayers.  And you’re never far from my heart, either.

Well, today’s scripture from Exodus is another one of those treasure troves of God’s wisdom.  I have chewed on it all week and kept hearing more revelation from God even though I knew I needed to narrow the focus.  So who knows, maybe I’ll preach this text again in a few weeks with a different focus.  But for now, we’ve got enough to chew on.

It’s that amazing story of Moses and the burning bush.  Moses was on his way to work and worried that he would be late but he turned to see what was happening up the hillside.  What was this fire that burned but did not consume the bush?  It turns out it was a message from God and a calling to do something remarkable.  God had heard the cry of the Israelites and wanted Moses to help in the work of spreading God’s liberation and justice.  Moses insisted that he would be too afraid to do this task.  He protested and told of reasons he could not do it but God’s call was still the same.   He wanted to know how this could be done.  And you know what?  God was not explicit on how this would happen even when asked.  God never offered a detailed roadmap of how to overthrow an empire.  But God’s promise to be with Moses through it all was loud and clear.

It’s a great story isn’t it?  It has all these amazing ways of thinking about it.  For example, we could ask what can we learn about God through this story.  What about what we can learn about Moses or human nature?  We could even ask about what we can learn about the life of people 3500 years ago.  But for this day, I think we might be well served by asking what we can learn about our lives today through this story.

What is it that we need to know so that we to can experience a life changing moment with God?  For Moses, this was just a brief encounter but it definitely changed the whole direction of his life.  So what are a few of the take-a-ways for our lives?

Well, for today, we’re going to focus in on three… how very three point sermon of me.  First, there are all kinds of burning bushes.  Second, we just might be missing some burning bushes around us already.  And third, following God’s call on our lives is not about having all the answers or always being fearless.

First, are there all kinds of burning bushes?  I know we read the stories of the bible and often wonder why doesn’t God light up a bush and talk to us sometime?  It would be much easier to have faith if God just spoke more loudly and clearly.  But even though we might like a burning bush or at least a nice email from God, God has already filled our lives with life changing messages that came in all kinds of forms.

For those of you who have felt the call to be involved in some sort of ministry or cause, how did you know that was the right thing to do?  Or when you were looking for a church home, how did you know this was the one?  And when you were struggling to find meaning, direction, or vocation, what led you down the path the fulfillment? 

See, I doubt it was a burning bush.  The answers to any one of those questions are going to be so varied among us.  It could have been a series of seemingly unrelated events that collided that made you see a certain direction… providence, if you will.  It might have been a still small voice that kept whispering the same thing to you over and over.  Perhaps it was a large event that happened long ago that changed you in a way that has altered your decision making ever since.  Regardless of what it looked like, if it was the right decision, it was God. 

God speaks to us in all kinds of ways.  God used Moses to speak to the Israelites and encourage them to believe that they would not always have to suffer.  God used passersby to tend to the wounds of an injured person.  God speaks through moments and whispers and people and God speaks to us in this time and place. 

It may not be a burning bush but unlocked, this bible has set lives on fire.  Social time between services may consume more donuts than a non-consuming flame but lives are transformed and the face of God is seen.  Vacation bible school, reaching out to one another as neighbors, community events, meals with loved ones, and ALL the countless ways we “hear” and “are” God’s voice in the world… oh yes, there are all kinds of burning bushes in our lives that set us on a path and guide us all the way.


Second, are there already burning bushes around us that we may have missed?  Well, let’s see.  There is a tale told by rabbis about why the bush was burning but not consumed.  I mean, for the purposes of delivering a message, does it really matter if the bush is left in ashes or not?  Well, as the story goes, the rabbis argued about this until one of them said, “The bush was burning but not consumed so that one day when Moses passed by he would finally notice it!”

If we re-read this passage, stopping to think that Moses might have missed it before, suddenly some of the language makes sense.  God put out this sign waiting for Moses to turn away from what he was doing long enough to notice it.  So, this bush needed to not be burned up by the flame.  It needed to last.

Now, whether or not the bush had been burning for years or just that afternoon doesn’t really matter. The point is that God did not put it right in front of Moses but rather it was off to the side and took some intentionality on Moses’ part to go to it.  The scripture says he had to turn aside from what he was doing to go over to the bush.

So, coming back to the idea that there are already burning bushes in our midst, how often are our lives like this? (walk past communion table in a hurry) Or this? (walk past communion table reading) Or this? (walk past communion table meandering) Or this? (walk past communion table on phone) Or this? (walk past communion table with a hurt back) Or this? (walk past communion table laughing) (Turn and finally notice the communion table)

The joys, the tears, and everything in between are always going on in our lives.  How often do we walk past the same thing and then finally one day see it?  I venture to guess, quite a bit.  And God knows that too.  Sometimes we probably do miss out on a message.  But for the big stuff, God keeps a bush lit for us.  That bush may have to be moved from place to place or time to time to keep up with us but it stays lit.

What do I mean by this?  Well, what would happen if we all took a bit to talk about the direction of this church?  I bet that conversation would end with some pretty amazing ideas about invigorating existing relationships or maybe starting new ministries.  It’s not that these are new ideas.  It’s just that we didn’t stop to notice them before now.

It only takes pausing for a bit and being willing to see something new or different to realize that God has set fire to a bush near each of us.  Maybe the message we’ve been missing is that of embracing something we weren’t sure we could handle.  It could be a message to forgive someone.  It might even be a calling to do something entirely different in our lives.  But the point is that when we are intentional to pause, look, and change course even a little, we always find a place God is speaking to us that we didn’t recognize before. 


So, to the final point, following God’s call on our lives is not about having all the answers or always being fearless.  If we know anything about Moses’ story, we know that he was plagued by repeated doubts, fears, and was nearly always asking God to “Prove it.”  And repeatedly God addressed the doubts, fears, and pleas to prove it with the reply “I will be with you.”

God’s greatest gift to Moses and to us is that we are never alone.  We are going to have fears and we are most definitely going to have doubts.  We are even going to be dissatisfied with the unclear plan we have in front of us and ask God to show us more of the road map.  But God’s constant answer is “I am with you.”  And then in due time, more is revealed.

So what does that mean in practical terms for us?  We need to keep our focus on what God has called us to do today and not let our anxiety and fear about the how all this is going to work out distract us.  And how does that happen?  We keep living as the body of Christ, watching and responding to burning bushes as they appear. 

Consider what the Pastor Nominating Committee does.  They join together seeking the voice of God each week.  Now I am positive they might prefer an obvious burning bush but the fact of the matter is that their ongoing relationship with one another makes them more and more aware of God’s presence and work in this place.  Their work is hard and produces a lot of fear and anxiety. I bet every one of them worry “what if we get it wrong?”  Have they missed a few burning bushes?  In this case, I doubt it.  But I am absolutely sure that God is with them.  They need only keep on the path before them until a new burning bush illuminates God’s way.  And we need to support them by offering encouragement and reminding them that God’s guidance will be present in this church, no matter what.

But the practical part of knowing God is with us even though we fear doesn’t end there.  When John Karins died last month, the presence of God was felt by his family because this congregation responded with love and support.  When the church needs juice boxes for vacation bible school, we bring them in.  When a hurricane strikes the east coast, we donate to the Red Cross.  When there is a new birth in our midst, we celebrate with one another. 

All of these things we do as the body of Christ, Emmanuel… God with us, are a constant reminder that we are not alone.  Our fears will find comfort in God and one another.  The path we should take will be made known if we hold together as a body.  Even the future of this church, it’s members, and it’s leadership are secure in the workings of God.  Our job is to keep moving forward as a body and being ever watchful for that next burning bush.  Amen.

Remember Who You Are

Remember Who You Are <-- Audio file of sermon based upon 2 Timothy 1:1-14

Good morning. I’m excited to be here for the next 4 weeks with you because what you don’t know is that they are my favorite designated days in the Presbyterian Church. You know we have Advent and Christmas, Lent and Easter. We have many holidays that are deeply meaningful in our faith tradition. But in the Presbyterian Church, there are also designated days of recognition that are not holidays but times of awareness, honor, and remembrance. It happens to be that my favorite 4 happen all in a row beginning today. Today is World Communion Sunday, next week is Domestic Violence Awareness, the 17th is Children’s Sabbath, and the 24th is United Nations Sunday. Somehow you’ll find this themes woven into the worship services.

So, here we are today with a great scripture lesson from 2 Timothy to get us going on World Communion Sunday.

That apostle Paul, he sure had a great formula for writing letters. All his letters and the ones attributed to him by his followers start out with such love, support, and affirmation. Even though this letter foreshadows Paul’s death while imprisoned, he never wavered in wanting the best for those he loved. Paul always believed that God’s vision for them would come into full bloom if they were true to their faith and gifts.

So here we are today. It’s World Communion Sunday of First Presbyterian Church in Crown Point. What does it look like to be true to our faith and gifts? Which is another way of saying: Who are you and who are we?

As we read this letter and the salutation is over, Paul began his letter to Timothy by remembering. He remembered Timothy’s tears. Verse 4 begins, “Recalling your tears, I long to see you…” We don’t know why Timothy had cried in Paul’s presence but whatever it was, it was cause for remembrance. Paul cared about what Timothy felt. To me that says a lot. Many teachers and leaders care about how we perform or what we do but not how we feel. Paul opened up by saying that those things which are most personal and emotional in your life are meaningful to him too.

Paul goes on to remember Timothy’s faith and family in verse 5 which reads, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that lived first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, lives in you.” So Paul not only cares about Timothy’s feelings, he cares about his family and where he came from… he is truly connected to Timothy on many levels.

Next Paul tells us that he cares about what Timothy does by turning his own remembrance into a reminder for Timothy. Verse 6 begins “For this reason I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is within you…”

Now, I find myself wondering why Paul wanted to both remember and remind Timothy what was most fundamental to him… his faith, his roots, and his gifts. I don’t mean why as in what were the circumstances around Timothy at the time. I mean why is it important to remember who we are.

In asking this, I did some remembering of my own. Do you remember the Disney movie the Lion King? It centered around a young lion cub named Simba whose father, the king of the pride lands, was killed. Manipulated by his conniving uncle, Simba believed he himself was responsible and ran away. He grows up away from all he has known and is content but not fulfilled. Soon, Simba encounters a shaman like monkey who knew him as a baby. The monkey takes Simba to a lagoon to show him his father. Simba sees his own reflection in the water dismisses the monkey as a fool. The monkey says “Look Harder, he lives in you.” When Simba looks again he hears the voice of his father saying: “Simba, you have forgotten who you are, you are more than you have become, Remember who you are...”

This of course is the turning point in the movie and I believe the point Paul was trying to make. Paul knew that without staying grounded in our core, we are adrift. Though we may find contentment like Simba, we will be far from fulfilled. And we definitely will not be participating in the blossoming of God’s vision for us.

As we read further, Paul goes onto talk about living in the grace that has been freely given to them and living out the gifts that have been implanted in them. Throughout the rest of this letter that spans well beyond what we read today, it shares much wisdom about the lived faith. But much of it is anchored to making sure that they are well grounded in their faith and the things that are most core to them… their faith, gifts, and experiences.

So taking in all of this, I felt inspired by the Holy Spirit. I wondered what it would look like if Paul wrote a letter to you… to the people of First Presbyterian Church of Crown Point. And I answered. Based upon the style of Paul and the principles he set forth in this second letter to Timothy, I wrote you a letter from Paul in modern language and form. Here it goes.
Thanks be to God. Amen.

Paul, dedicated apostle of Christ, living by God’s grace am writing you, my much beloved friends at First Pres.

I am so grateful and thank God every time I think of you. You are truly such special people. I know it has been difficult for you of late. Many of you worry about finding a new pastor and about how to move forward as a congregation on many issues. Do not be ashamed of your journey. I share in your struggle and want you to know that your concerns are holy and faith filled. But trust in the presence of God and the gifts you share as a body and you will find your way. There is no need for worry, only diligence.

I think back to people I knew in the church many years ago and about baptisms of children that are now adults. I wish I could be there with you. So much has happened. You have remained faithful even in times of not having a sanctuary of your own. You have been present for the needs of the community. You have grown great programs like Soup & Serenity and the food pantry. You have raised up vibrant children and youth who reach out to others through mission trips. And you continue to share in fellowship with family hayrides and coffee time between worship services. I hope you take the time to celebrate who you are together. You deserve joy, the same joy God delights in from creating you.

And to you individually, I know that congregational life is full of great blessings and great struggles. Being called into the body of Christ is a calling of both wonder and work. I hope you are finding meaningful ways of living out your God given talents both inside and outside the church walls. Since last we saw each other, I imagine you have learned even more about all that God has knitted into your frame. I trust that you want to continue to grow and become all that God envisions for you or you wouldn’t be here. Do good things for yourself to nurture your gifts. Reach out to help others to nurture their gifts. And most importantly, be grace filled with yourself and others during times of struggle just as God is grace filled with us. We only know the fullness and wonder of God as much as we are closely working with all the parts of the body of Christ.

Today is World Communion Sunday. If there was ever a day to recognize just how vast God’s fullness reaches, it is today. As you gather around Christ’s table, I hope you will pause to remember all the others around the world who are doing the same thing, other people who are full of questions, worries, and hopes. I hope you will also take a moment to remember all those who came before you and made this table possible. Remember with gratitude and honor all those who taught you what this table means, your family, friends, teachers, pastors. They helped cultivate in you the gift of faith.

And speaking of the gift of faith, as you gather around this table, I also want you to remember those who suffer under circumstances like poverty, violence, and discrimination that stifle and squash faith. Hold them most dearly in your heart. Pray and work for their justice and liberation. It is for them that you dedicate part of today’s offering to the Presbyterian Peacemaking programs. They do not enjoy the liberation of Christ that we experience when we gather around this table and God’s work will not be complete until they can remember who they are too.

Sisters and brothers, I leave you with the same hopes found in your mission statement. At First Presbyterian Church of Crown Point, all are invited to know Christ, To grow in Christ, and to show Christ to the world as we love one another. Go forward from this time, remembering who you are. Go forward from this place knowing that who you are is part of God’s good creation. Go forward from this place sharing boldly the love, faith, and gifts God has freely given to you.

Your most faithful and loving advocate,
Paul