A Body Of...

A quote from Margaret Cho:

“If you are a woman, if you're a person of colour, if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, if you are a person of size, if you are a person od intelligence, if you are a person of integrity, then you are considered a minority in this world.

 

...And it's going to be really hard to find messages of self-love and support anywhere. Especially women's and gay men's culture. It's all about how you have to look a certain way or else you're worthless. You know when you look in the mirror and you think 'oh, I'm so fat, I'm so old, I'm so ugly', don't you know, that's not your authentic self? But that is billions upon billions of dollars of advertising, magazines, movies, billboards, all geared to make you feel shitty about yourself so that you will take your hard earned money and spend it at the mall on some turn-around creme that doesn't turn around shit.

 

When you don't have self-esteem you will hesitate before you do anything in your life. You will hesitate to go for the job you really wanna go for, you will hesitate to ask for a raise, you will hesitate to call yourself an American, you will hesitate to report a rape, you will hesitate to defend yourself when you are discriminated against because of your race, your sexuality, your size, your gender. You will hesitate to vote, you will hesitate to dream. For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution and our revolution is long overdue.”

I’ve been trying to write about the complicated relationship I (and many people) have with body image, self-love, healing, and transformation.  You see, if there is anything I profess as a Christian, it is that Christ offers deliverance from bondage and transformation into new life.  Yet this is something I have struggled to embrace all my life.

 

My awareness of this has never waned but it has been heightened in the past few years because I’ve watched my wife lose about 100 pounds and experience a transformation from carrying body fat as a shield to loving every ounce of herself as an expression of her life.  I envy her experience.  I wish I too could experience that. (I do not want to oversimplify her experience as I know she still struggles every day.  Nevertheless, she has accomplished a great deal of growth and transformation.)

 

Another reason my struggle to embrace my body and experience healing has been especially obvious as of late is that I’ve grown increasingly defensive for my wife.  As she lost weight, people would walk up to her and in all good nature tell her, “you look so good” and “you look beautiful.”  While I recognize that they mean to be encouraging and supportive, the unspoken message of “you weren’t beautiful of good enough before” remains. 

 

My blood boils for her, me, and all who struggle with body image when this happens.  The common experience that my wife and I share is that of using our bodies as a shield of protection.  In similar ways, we have dieted for acceptance, eaten to push away pain, and loathed our bodies for all they pain and struggle they represent.  I still do. 

 

But she doesn’t.  She has finally found the combination of space, support, and love to look at her body one ounce at a time and love the way it has been a protector for her, grieve the past, and transform it into a new creation.  It’s been so beautiful to watch.  Truly, there aren’t words for how life filled and hope giving her journey has been and it’s not over yet.  I am grateful and honored to be a witness and sharer in this journey.

 

But where does all this leave me?  I still find myself in the despair of pain from a childhood that should have destroyed me, depression that won’t stop haunting me, and a body so full of scars seen and unseen that I can barely stand to look at it on most days.  I want what my wife has.  I want that deliverance and transformation that I so deeply believe Christ offers.  Yet, I’ve never experienced that combination of emotional space, physical energy, and external support that it takes to sustain such a life changing, transformation.  Will I ever?  I don’t know but I hope so.

The True Miracle

I am blessed to know a lot of chaplains and religious leaders from many faiths and backgrounds. While we share and grow through the diversity of our experiences, the true gift is the camaraderie we have in a particular shared experience. We each want so deeply for the people we encounter to grow more deeply in their faith.

To grow in faith sounds simple enough on the surface but in reality most of us feel like Paul in his cry from Romans 7, “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” The truth is that all of us struggle to grow in faith in some way. It might be the adhering to spiritual practices or it could be the living out justice filled beliefs. Regardless of the particulars, faith is always marked by some sort of strife.

Next come the behaviors we use to cover our pain and sorrow. That too is varied in its expression. For some, they hide the pain by delving into false piety and “holier than thou” behaviors. Others of us take on the experience as a personal failing resulting in self-loathing. Still others work very hard to desensitize themselves and live in the proverbial bliss of ignorance.

We religious leaders bump up against these behaviors that are symptomatic of faith struggles both personally and professionally. Whether it’s congregational life, hospitals, or park benches the sore spots of our faith struggles are out there to be rubbed and made even more raw.

This is where that shared experience of clergy comes back. Our desire for people to grow either becomes a healing balm or an irritating liniment to those sore spots that reveal the faith struggle. When we are blessed to witness healing, it is a deeply meaningful experience as a person of faith. However, when that healing doesn’t occur it can be painful, frustrating, and even consuming when our own faith struggles take this experience personally.

I feel such deep sorrow when I watch other clergy become so wounded and discouraged with the strife they experience and the perceived lack of growth in their flock that it becomes a barrier to their own faith and participation in creation. All this leads me to what I see as the true miracle. To me, the true miracle is that in spite of humanity’s bent toward violence, destruction, and fearfulness healing continues to occur and the lives are transformed.

When we look throughout history, it’s remarkable that faith persists at all. The perception of “end days” violence today holds nothing against the atrocities against people, races, and nations throughout history. I personally might have lost faith in God if I had been part of the one million plus Armenians slaughtered in the early 1900’s or witnessed the inquisitions of the 12th and 13th century. Moreover, these are not isolated incidents. The pain and suffering of humanity when we look at the lives of everyday people has been and continues to be on a scale that most privileged people in the United States cannot begin to imagine. And yet, faith persists. The violence we wrought on one another cannot seem to squash the meaningful ways faith keeps us going despite all that we face.

We, as clergy, keep looking for people of faith to become something wholly different and completely transformed. I personally even preach about transformation in a way that unfortunately misleads people into thinking that they are chasing after a destination rather than an ongoing process that will be ever challenged and ever changing. But the reality of history and our daily lives is that of a process. We take steps forward that are met with a new challenge that could push us back.

Therefore, when we see people that work to stay bind to the injustice of the world or persons in the hospital who act “tougher than cancer,” we are seeing defense mechanisms that have been heaped on after experiencing so much disappointment and pain. Deep down they want to live a life of faithfulness that matches an unrealistic ideal. Deep down, that ideal crushes. But again, instead of completely running away, humanity finds a way to maintain some level of faith in spite of the struggles.

Truly I can’t tell you how many people I know that are completely unable to forgive themselves for their struggles in faith yet act content in their faith on the outside. Sadly, the notion of a loving and forgiving God is not near as difficult to grasp as the concept of forgiving ourselves. And still, we persist in faith.

The call of faith is tough and the notion of celebrating the journey is rarely upheld or practiced. We place too much emphasis on the destination or expect people to be at a point on their journey that is unrealistic given their experiences and level of faith. Yet, I suspect that reorienting ourselves to celebrating even the little milestones is what we need if we are to heal the sore spots that become barriers to healing. That healing likely won’t bring about a radical transformation in the church, but it is part of the ongoing work that counteracts the sorrow, fear, and destruction of the world. May we all be instruments of healing and peace that represent the true miracle of creation.

A Moment, A Life

A Moment, A Life: <-- Audio file of Transfiguration Sunday sermon based upon Matthew 17:1-9.


Good morning. Today is transfiguration Sunday and if you’ve spent much time at church in your life, you’ve probably heard more than a few sermons from the gospel texts that recount this event in Jesus’ life. It’s a dramatic scene of Jesus, Peter, James, & John climbing to the mountain top. Then Jesus’ face shines with brilliant light and his well-worn robe suddenly glistens with a brilliant whiteness. As if this isn’t startling enough, suddenly Moses and Elijah appear and start talking with Jesus. Now, I don’t know how Jesus stayed so calm in the midst of all this but Peter, James, & John were filled with awe. Peter wanted to stay there and live in the glory of the moment forever. But he had barely said that before the voice of God booms from a cloud affirming Jesus as his son that he is so proud of. At this, Peter, James, & John were absolutely overwhelmed and fell to the ground. Then Jesus comforted them and led them back on their journey… and a remarkable journey at that.


So what is it we’re supposed to get from this story? What is transfiguration? Miriam Webster dictionary defines transfiguration as “a change in form or appearance; a metamorphosis; an exalting, glorifying, or spiritual change.” So transfiguration Sunday marks a moment of spiritual change in Christ. Something big happened on that mountaintop and we mark and honor it. But just as Peter wanted to stay and the moment and found out he couldn’t, we must also recognize that transfiguration Sunday is but a moment that points to something bigger going on. Transfiguration Sunday is about a moment in Christ’s life. But I think it tells us something about our lives as well.


To be transfigured is a moment in time that changes us. It’s a moment that stays with us in ways that we remember. It reveals something of who we are, who we’ll become, or sometimes even what we don’t want to be. To be transfigured is to be open to the moment and letting what that moment has touch us and leave us forever transformed. To be transfigured is but a moment in time but a moment that we can use to push us forward and compel us onward as we gather the energy and direction that it gives us. And I want to suggest that transfiguration happens in our everyday lives.


So as I thought about transfiguration this week, I spent some time looking thinking about how we’ve tried to capture this biblical moment, the transfiguration of Christ as well as how we experience transfiguration in our everyday lives. So, I want to share with you a PowerPoint of some images that capture the transfiguration in many different forms.


I could fill a whole afternoon with artwork where we’ve tried to capture the transfiguration of Christ. But here is just a sampling of a few… like this one from the 1300’s were we see the climax of the scene.

… or this one from the 1800’s

… or this one from a more modern time.

Even look at the cover of your bulletin. Artwork from this event has captured our minds and imaginations for a long time.


But capturing the transfiguration of Christ is only worthy if we can also capture it in our own lives. So here are some images that may resonate with you on a more personal level. Images of moments that transform and give our lives deeper meaning.


See, sometimes we have moments were we realize that we are but small players in something so much larger than us, yet we’re called to be a part of them…

we look on not sure what this moment will bring but we know it will forever change things.

Some moments speak for themselves.

There are moments we never imagined but once we’re there, we rise to the occasion

… there are the moments made in the midst of sorrow

… and the sorrow made better by a comforter.

There are the moments that a whole country will never forget

… and the moments that a family would not be the same without.

There are moments we could not have imagined

… and connections that will have meaning for a long time to come.

Transfiguration is about the experience, the understanding.

Some moments call us to something bigger and hold out a vision

… while others make dreams come true.

There are moments of liberation and pure joy

… and joy

… and joy

… and joy. Joy that takes hold of us and makes us the people we want to be, children of God.

There are moments of triumph to get where we’ve never been

… moments of getting back up when we’re down.

Moments made beautiful by the friends around us.

Moments of attaining what we always wanted

… worked for

… ran after.

Moments no one imagined for us

… moments only before held in our imaginations.

And there are times when no one thought it could be done.

And as we prepare to go into Lent, we should consider all the moments of self reflection where we see beyond the shadows into who we are

… We take who we are to God

… And we climb to new mountaintops literally but mostly figuratively.

We wait for new dawn to show us something new

… something amazing

… or sometimes something quiet yet bold.

And from those Lenten experiences we have new found curiosity about God’s creation

… we wonder what could be or become of our lives.

And we take these moments with us, setting out on a journey, not knowing what will happen and not always realizing that we’ve been in the midst of something transforming.

We journey not knowing what moments will come

… and not always having the answers in those moments

… but always knowing that those moments will forever be with us compelling and moving us forward.

Sisters and brothers, Jesus went to the mountaintop and was transformed in that moment but he came back down the mountain and used the blessing of his father and energy of the experience to compel him forward. We must also do the same. Our lives are filled with moments that impact us and change us spiritually. Our job is not to build houses and try to live in that moment but rather to make a life where the moments lead us and let God lead us to something even more extraordinary. Amen.

Stories of Hope

Based upon Genesis 15:1-6 & Luke 1:26-38 <-- Audio file of sermon Good morning.

Well, we’re now at the 3rd Sunday of Advent and pretty far into our devotional, The Stars Tell the Story. It seems that since we’ve heard from Polaris about God’s faithfulness and then the fallen star of Lucifer about his attempts to use power over us, I guess word got out that we were having all these stars come in to talk with us. I got a ton of mail this week from other stars that wanted to come and share their story of how they’ve seen God work in the world. Well, there’s not enough time for everyone so I decided I’d read a few of their letters. Today we’re going to hear from 3 different stars about times they’ve watched God make and keep promises and about the hope people have in God’s promises to be near, faithful, and forever in covenant with creation. So, let’s read a few of these and see what we’ve got. This looks like a good letter to start with (open letter). It reads:

Greetings from the distant sky,
My name is Gamma Arietis. You may have seen me as part of the Aries constellation. But I’m not writing to tell you about me. I’m writing to tell you about God. You see, I have watched God work for so long now but don’t get to share much. A favorite story of mine you probably already know. But it’s worth telling you about anyway.

You see, it was about 4000 years ago and God came to talk to a man named Abram. Now, Abram was already pretty old and had enjoyed a full life. This life wasn’t without heard work but it was still a good life. He had built pretty stable a life for he and his wife, even though they had no children. They had also seen a good bit of heartache. They had rescued Abram’s nephew Lot, had to compromise their relationship while in Egypt, and in general had survived so much together.

So, God sent Abram a vision and said, “Don't be afraid, Abram. I'm your shield. Your reward will be grand!”

I think it goes without saying that Abram was startled by this. But he was still able to speak his heart and mind to God saying, “Holy God, what use are your gifts as long as I'm childless and Eliezer of Damascus is going to inherit everything? See, you've given me no children, and now my land foreman is going to get it all.”

But God comforted and reassured Abram that this promise of grand reward would happen. God said, “Don't worry, he won't be your heir; a son from your body will be your heir.”

Then God took him outside and said, “Look at the sky. Count the stars. Can you do it? Count your descendants! You're going to have a big family, Abram!”

Now, I have to tell you I always like it when God points to us. And you know what? There I was watching this happen. Abram looked at me and all the other stars in his view and tears came to his eyes when he thought that what God said could be true. I knew exactly what the tears were about because he often sat out at night crying sorrowful tears that he and his wife never had children. He would weep for his own mortality and all that he could not share with a child. He wept for his wife and the dream she had of being a mother. But this time the tears had something that they didn’t have before. They had hope.

You see, Abram believed God. God declared him righteous or “Set-Right-with-God.” It was a big moment in Abram’s life. He had already been a lover of God but from this point forward, he knew that his life had meaning because it was part of God’s plan. He didn’t have to wait for the child to be born to believe or to know how God was going to work all this out that he would have so many decedents. What made the difference for Abram was feeling like he had a real and genuine relationship with God, a place in God’s will and workings.

I think that’s what I like most about Abram. He didn’t say, “Where’s the proof?” He simply knew that this relationship with God was enough and God would do the rest.

Well, I appreciate you letting me share with you. If you ever want me to come speak, let me know. I’ll be there.

Faithfully,
Gamma Arietis

Wow, that was a fine letter. I’ve never thought of God’s faithful relationship with Abram as being what made the difference. Well, let’s see what else we’ve got here. (open another letter) This looks like a good one.

Grace and Peace to you,
My name is Mizar and I’m a part of the Big Dipper. You’re Advent series calling on us to share what we’ve seen has me intrigued. I’ve seen some good stuff too and thought I’d write you about a very special time I remember. I think you’ll appreciate this story because it happens just before the guiding star leads you to Bethlehem.

You see, about 2000 years ago, in the Galilean village of Nazareth, God sent a special messenger named Gabriel to a young woman named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph who was descended from David who was also descended from Abraham.

Upon entering Mary’s house, Gabriel greeted her: “Good morning! You're beautiful with God's beauty, beautiful inside and out! God be with you.”

I remember thinking that walking on into a young woman’s apartment in the middle of the night was a bad idea but somehow Gabriel pulled it off because you see, Mary was thoroughly shaken, wondering what was behind a greeting like that. But Gabriel assured her, “Mary, you have nothing to fear. God has a surprise for you: You will become pregnant and give birth to a son and call his name Jesus. He will be great, be called 'Son of the Highest.' The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David; He will rule Jacob's house forever— no end, ever, to his kingdom.”

Now, I find that if you are going to enter a situation with unexpected news, it’s best to blurt it all out as quickly as possible but Gabriel missed a key piece in his blurting. Mary said to the angel, “But how? I’m not with Joseph yet and our wedding isn’t for several months yet.”

The messenger gave an answer I’ll never forget… and I’m sure Mary didn’t either. Gabriel said, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, the power of the Highest will hover over you; the child you have will be called Holy, Son of God. If you’re having trouble believing, did you know that your cousin Elizabeth conceived a son, old as she is? Everyone called her barren, and here she is six months pregnant! You see, noting is impossible with God.”

Now I don’t understand the mysteries of all this hovering stuff but I do know that Mary was a very brave young woman. I don’t know many people who would have handled it that well to hear the news that God was going to use them is such a special way yet a way that could deeply complicate their lives. Honestly! Young women were kicked out of their homes and stoned for showing up pregnant.

Mary said to Gabriel, “Yes, I see it all now. I am God’s helper, ready to serve. I pray that it be with me just as you say.” And then the messenger left her.

When I saw all this, I took a special interest in this young woman and followed here everywhere she went. She had an extraordinary life. Joseph believed in God’s plan too. They raised Jesus and other children too. Their life was a beautiful one. Even when Jesus put down his carpentry tools and took up the mantle of spreading God’s word, Mary continued to see herself as God’s helper by supporting Jesus and even spreading God’s word too.

I suppose that’s a pretty amazing gift to realize that God wants our faith to do things in the world. Mary’s faith that God would make a way for her and this child led her down paths she could have never expected. She saw things that changed her life and everyone else’s too. God asked her to do what was faithful and she was part of making the world a better place.

I hope I’ve made the world a better place by sharing what I’ve seen of God. Hey, when you look up at the sky and see the big dipper, I’m in the middle of the handle. Say hi sometime and remember that God’s promises reach far beyond what you may ever know.

Take care,
Mizar

Hmm… well Mizar seems a friendly one. I’m glad he had such a good story to share. I too am always amazed that Mary was so faithful even in a time that could have caused such great trouble. But what is more amazing is that she stayed faithful through everything. It’s true. Nothing is impossible with God.

Now let’s see what else we have here. (open another letter) This one looks good. Here we go.

To the good folks of FPC Crown Point,
My name is Alpha Andromedae. I’m part of the Pegasus constellation but I’m not sure if you have ever seen me. You have to look carefully. Anyway, I am writing because I know you are enjoying stories from stars about God’s work leading to Jesus. I wanted to share a story of the same thing but it may not be what you expect.

You see, I was watching out over some of the people I like and a new person named Fran caught my eye. She was a little girl in a very problem filled home. Her mom was a very empty woman full of resentment for the world and she took out those resentments on the little girl. I continued to watch this girl because no matter how sad she was, she still believed that God was with her. She would lay in bed and cry to God wondering why her family was so full of pain. She could see that her mother’s resentment were from having been hurt and wronged so much. But that did not make Fran’s life better.

I watched her over the coming years as she struggled to make sense of herself, her family, and the world. Sometimes watching her pain made me question the existence of God but from what I can tell, she just kept believing that God was with her.

As Fran got older, she worked so hard at school and was very involved in activities that kept her away from home. All that paid off because she got to go to college and she’s been a school teacher most of her adult life. She’s gotten to do lots of great things but I can still see the memory of her upbringing when I look at her.

I’ve watched her for over 60 years now. She’ll be retiring soon and I’m glad for her. But you know what? Until recently, I could not understand how this little girl made it through so much pain and sorrow. If I had been her, I would have given up… or at least I thought I would have until I overheard her talking to one of her grandchildren, Jasmine, recently.

They recently had a death in the family. Her granddaughter’s best friend died in a car accident. When Fran was trying to comfort her, she told Jasmine some about her own life and times when she felt alone and in the dark. What surprised me wasn’t the details of what she shared but how she understood them.

Fran said that even when things seemed their darkest, she always found what she needed. Somehow she learned the lesson early on that family could be more than your blood relatives, a belief that supported her all her life. As she got older, she came to understand that as the Body of Christ. When Fran felt most in the dark, she said that it was amazing how she would meet someone who showed her a new way to see light or have an encounter that connected her back to hope. She said that those encounters were God being with her to meet her needs. She said she’s met lots of messengers from God. And when Fran worried that her life would never change or that it would always be so full of despair, she said that something would happen… an opportunity to serve, a youth outreach event, a friend in need… things that reminded her that she was interconnected with others and that her best next step was any faithful step forward. She didn’t have to know the outcome. She just had to be faithful.

I cried. I had watched her but never really seen what was on the inside. She chose to see God instead of keeping the blinders on to the darkness. For that, Fran’s as guiding light as I can think of to point to Christ.

Your fellow seeker,
Alpha Andromedae

Sisters and brothers, I can think of no better note to end on as we continue our journey toward the newborn Christ. God is faithful and present. And God’s faithfulness is seen all around us. Our job is to keep our eyes open to it instead of letting fear, pain, pride, and other barriers stand in our way. Our job is to keep making that next faithful step. Amen.

All That I’ve Seen

Sermon based upon Acts 17:22-31 <-- Audio file of sermon

Good morning and welcome to the first Sunday of Advent. This advent a few stars are going to tell you their story. Stars you say? Yes, stars… as in the twinkling lights in the night sky. Our advent devotional, “The Stars Tell The Story,” walks us through the this year’s journey to Christmas through the eyes of several stars.

This week Polaris will tell you about the birth of light and God’s faithfulness to creation. Next week, the fallen star of Lucifer will talk to you. And the following week another star will share with you about promises. That will then lead us to the guiding star of Bethlehem illuminated by the cantata on the 4th Sunday of Advent.

So without further ado, I present to you Polaris.

Hello, my name is Polaris but a lot of you know me as the North Star or even the handle of the little dipper. I must admit I was a little surprised to be invited to speak. People look at me and wish upon me because I burn so bright in your northern sky but they don’t usually care to hear what I have to say. So I thank you for inviting me because I’ve seen a lot and I especially love to share what I’ve seen of God.

You see, God is the reason I know anything. In the beginning, I was just a ball of dust in the darkness. I didn’t really even realize who I was or what I could be because all I knew was darkness. But then, just like your bible says, God whispered a word to me… a word so simple but it changed everything. God said “light.” It was as if life began at that moment… at least I know my life began at that moment. See, when God speaks to us, we are forever transformed.

This thing called light has been an ongoing gift from God since that day. Think about it. The story of God’s work in creation is referred to as conquering darkness so that life can spring forth. Whether it’s lighting a path forward or driving away evil or casting out secrets that fester in the darkness, light is a tool and gift of God and I’ve been truly blessed to be one of God’s faithful servants by sharing my light.

I’ve pointed the way for travelers, kept people company, and watched over them while they sleep. My work as one of God’s good creations has been very meaningful. But you know what the best part has been? Watching people like you.

The first people I watched were Adam and Eve. Did you know that they loved the nighttime? It’s true. They would sit together and tell each other stories as they gazed into the night sky. I liked watching them. I liked it because they were just so full of love. They loved each other. They loved God. They loved the gifts of God. Everything they did, was from love in its most pure form. Even when that serpent tricked them, they weren’t trying to act in an unloving way. They were manipulated into thinking that the fruit would make them grow wise because of the knowledge of good and evil. They didn’t realize that they could not really handle such wisdom. So sadly, the knowledge they gained only polluted their love.

Lots of folks like to point to that story as saying that we’re somehow bad or broken. I don’t know if that’s true. You know what I think? I think it’s just that we’re all limited. We’re limited in what we can see. We’re limited in what we can understand. We’re limited in time. Only God who is in all places, knows all creation intimately, and lives beyond the bounds of time can really use wisdom of good and evil correctly.

Let me tell you what I mean. Take me for example. I am limited in what I know of the earth because I’m always on one side of it. I’ve never seen most of Africa. I’ve never seen Chili or Argentina. And I’ve never seen Antarctica. To me, they might as well not exist. And they don’t know I exist either.

But I’ve seen folks that travel from that side of the earth. And I trust my star friend, Sirius when she tells me that they are beautiful places. But I’m so limited, that I don’t think I could make a good judgment or assess what God has done there or tell you what the people need there. I just don’t know enough.

People are the same way. Adam and Eve and all of humanity now carry the burden of knowing both good and evil. In many cases, you know what good and evil look like and often know how to handle them. But sometimes you know just enough to cause trouble because only God can use that power fully.

For example, look over there at Lavender. She seems nice enough. But when you try to use God’s wisdom of good and evil to judge her, things just get all messed up. Watch this… Did you know that she gave $5 to a homeless person last week? That seems good right? Well it was good for the homeless person but Lavender didn’t do it because of a loving desire to help. She did it because she felt her own shame and inability to truly look into the eyes of the other person. So, you tell me… she did something good but not from a loving motivation. How should she be judged? And let’s go back in time. Did you know that she used to steal things when she was a child? That sounds bad right? But what you don’t know is that her family was very poor and they were hungry. And she has worked hard to make amends for it ever since. So see, trying to use the knowledge of good and evil is complicated. We’re all just so limited. Only God knows enough to use it well.

And speaking of what God knows, I think our limitedness includes what we know about God too. That’s why I love the story of Paul seeing the Athenian shrine to the “god nobody knows.” At least the Athenians were humble enough to know that God might be bigger than what they knew. When I was watching God form the rest of creation, it was clear that we would all be looking at God from different sides, just like I look at the earth from a particular side. So, I encourage you to be careful when you speak of God. Speak boldly of what God has done in your life but speak humbly about what God’s will is for others. It’s just so hard to see what God is doing when you only see part of the story.

But take heart. I’m not actually here to make us feel small and remind us of our limitedness. To me, the real miracle isn’t that God can use this wisdom and the rest of creation can’t. The real miracle is that creation just keeps being beautiful and amazing in spite of our limitedness. Think about it. With all the things that could go wrong in creation, there’s far more that’s gone right. Accidents are rarely as bad as they could be. Wars are avoided at the last minute. Children are born into love every minute. Relationships are formed and make us more than we were. All this beauty is swirling around us and the only real explanation for why such a limited creation could make more beauty than destruction is that most of us are always being drawn to the light.

Since God’s first utterance of light, we seem to have this little voice inside of us that keeps us moving forward in search of more light, more beauty, more love… a fuller view of God. That’s the whole meaning of Advent. I’ve heard lots of folks talk about Advent as a time of waiting and expectancy. I guess that’s true. But the word Advent comes from the Latin word adventus meaning “coming.” Coming is a progressive verb… which means that it is currently happening and will continue to happen.

Now you don’t need some star giving you a grammar lesson but the point I want to make is that Advent, the coming, is a journey. Much like how creation is always moving toward the light, Advent is about our journey toward a light being born. We’re not waiting… we’re on our way.

You know what else I always like? Even as we’re drawn to the light of God, God is with and amongst us. Read your bible. Talk to your friends and neighbors. You can even talk to many of the people you might call enemies. What you’ll find from listening to their stories is that God never gives up on us and never leaves us. God didn’t give up on Adam and Eve after their mistake in the garden. Instead, God made it clear what the consequences were and helped them know how to prepare to live life differently. God didn’t abandon Paul as he took the gospel to new places. Instead, Paul found that God made provision for him through the ever growing & ever working body of Christ. And today, when we feel lost in the darkness, we are not abandoned by God. We need only be faithful and soon we’ll be able to see God working for our support and help during those times.

I’m always amazed at how God keeps reaching to us. It’s like watching that prodigal son come home over and over again. Trust me, I’ve been watching this go on for more time than humans have existed. Because you see, God is just so full of love and grace. God’s love keeps drawing us all toward God and to each other. And God’s grace keeps us seeking to find more light even when we’ve stumbled into darkness.

God loves us as we are and for who we are. God won’t ask the dandelion to stop being so fuzzy or the rose to not be so thorny. God loves and joins us in all our beauty, our defenses, our darkness, and our light. God knows that our rights and our wrongs have a story. They have a reason. God knows that we have deeply rooted fears. God also knows that we have a huge heart made for love. God knows every part of us. God knows all of creation and still reaches out to us every single time offering love, redemption, transformation, growth, nurture, and relationship. God loves us for who we are but knows that in the light, it is our beauty that will grow and flourish.

I’ve been watching you and will continue to watch you. You are a beautiful people. Trust in God’s presence and that calling from the dawn of creation to walk toward light. When you let God dispel the darkness, you’ll be amazed at just how beautiful you become. Amen.

Along the Way

Along the Way <-- Audio File - Sermon based upon Psalm 107:1-9, 43

Good morning. It’s an honor to be back with you again to worship. For those of you that weren’t here on my previous visits, my name is Lavender Kelley and I’m a chaplain at Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago. I’m a graduate of Louisville Seminary and have been a chaplain in the 4 years since then. Actually, some of your youth recently met Adam Fischer, a classmate of mine from seminary. He is now at Harvey Brown Pres in Louisville, the host church for the youth mission trip.

As a chaplain and cancer survivor, I’m very involved in volunteering for causes near and dear to me. Some of you may recognize that I have more hair than I did last time I was here because I had shaved my head in a fundraising event one month prior to that. Anyway, I mostly just want you to know that I’m grateful to spend some more time with you in this holy time of worship.

Our scripture text that John read for you this morning is from Psalm 107. The lectionary guide for this week chose only to include verses 1-9 & 43. That means you heard the introduction, 1 story illustration, and the benediction. But if we were to read the whole psalm, what we would see might seem more like a full sermon. Because the whole psalm contains an introduction, 4 very similar sermon illustrations, a conclusion, and a benediction.

This Psalm focuses on God’s “steadfast love” or “hesed” as it is read in Hebrew. Scholars frequently refer to this as the model psalm of God’s “steadfast love.” They say this because the psalm in its entirety contains repeated stories of God’s unrelenting love for people. That’s part of what I find remarkable about this psalm. Many of the psalms are written to God as prayers. Those prayers reveal what people believe God should do or how they want to interact with God. But this one is written from a different perspective. In this one, the psalmist shares their previous experience with and of God… how God intervened and delivered them from distress.

Verses 4-9 are the first of those similar stories that the psalmist shares of God’s loving intervention. The writer tells us:

Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no path to an inhabited town; hungry and thirsty, their soul withered within them. Then they cried out to the Holy One in their trouble, and God delivered them from their distress; God led them by a straight way, until they reached an inhabited town. Let them thank the Holy One for this steadfast love, for God’s wonderful works to humankind. For the Holy One satisfies the thirsty, and fills the hungry with good things.

Within this story and the other three that follow later in the Psalm, there are different details but the plot is the same. It begins with the people feeling hopeless and lost. They are not just suffering with physical hunger & thirst. Their soul is withering. Next the people cry out to God for help. This is followed by God delivering them from their distress. And finally, the people encourage thanksgiving and gratitude toward God.

Several things strike me about this story. First, like I said earlier, this was written about their experience of God rather than what they wanted God to do. Second, God delivers them only after they call out for help. And third, God’s deliverance does not magically transport them out of the desert. Rather, God’s deliverance was to help them along the way.

So let’s look at these pieces a little further. When we read this psalm, it tells stories of the people in the wilderness and deserts. It’s easy to imagine the early story telling that led to writing this psalm. It might have arisen from the experience of the Israelites being led out of Egypt by Moses. They traveled and searched and kept getting lost. They called out to false gods and idols for help but still were lost. It was only with the help of the one true God that they found their way. Or maybe the story was of shepherds traversing wild terrain looking for grazing lands and becoming lost. They seek and try all the ways they know to get their bearings but are still lost.

Regardless of the story’s origins, the images make sense given the history of the people in that era. Yet, even sitting here we can imagine such an experience today. Though few of us have been lost in a literal desert, many of us find ourselves lost in the wilderness of finding or keeping a job. We feel lost in a maze of ethical decisions like whether to choose financial security for ourselves at the expense of others. False gods offer us quick and easy ways to get rich but never ask what God’s calling on our life is.

Others of us have confronted illnesses that leave us feeling in the dark, struggling to make sense, find answers, and build a new path home. We ask questions, look for understanding, and use all our best methods to get our bearings but we are lost.

Still others of us have struggled through traumatic events where we just can’t seem to find our way home. We sit in what feels like a wilderness of sorrow and loss feeling all alone. We grow tired not knowing how to help ourselves and soon we start to feel our soul wither.

And let’s face it, even without extreme events, our day to day lives can feel daunting and draining and like we’re all alone. We try all kinds of things to help make the journey better… to help us find our way. But for all our best efforts, sometimes we still find ourselves in a wilderness, wandering and hungry. We were still hungry for that which only God can provide.

This psalm recognizes that hunger and tells the story of how others that came before us were filled. I find great comfort that this is not simply a prayer for what we want God to do but rather people touched by God telling of the great things from God. I don’t know about you but sometimes my most hope-filled moments are hearing the stories of others and this one is no different. It gives hope.

It is that hope that brings me to the second point in this passage. As they talk about their experience, they say that God delivers them after they call out for help. Why do you think that is? As a hospital chaplain, I often sit with people who feel alone and abandoned. They truly are in the darkest places of their lives. So if God’s love is so steadfast, why does it take calling out for them to experience deliverance?

Maybe the answer is not that simple. This is a story of people who knew God intimately and already believed God was there for them. They were already believers and they struggled like the rest of us. So what are they trying to tell us? I think they are sharing their story from their point of view. Think about it. When we talk about our experience of something, there’s a particular way people talk about the timing of things happening. They talk personally rather than a big picture point of view that might explain how God was always with them but they could not see it. But more importantly, I think the psalmist’s story of calling out to God reminds us that we usually aren’t open to help until we ask for it.

Think of those times when we’re frustrated such as when we’ve been working on something truly difficult. If someone just comes up and offers help, we usually aren’t open to it. I had one of those uncles who would never ask for directions no matter how lost they were. And I once saw someone break 2 bones falling because they refused help in carrying something. Sometimes we don’t ask for help because we’re too proud to receive it. Yet at the hospital I meet people who are too overwhelmed by sorrow and worry to even remember to ask for help. When offered even something simple like water, they refuse because they are too overwhelmed in that moment to receive. We go get them water, a cool cloth, and call their family, all of which they will use. But until they are open to help, they will not have an experience of being supported. They feel alone.

Yet, when we call out for help it is an entirely different matter. It’s us saying that we want and are open to help. It’s us letting go of our ego, our fears, and our walls to be humble and receptive to help. When we call out, especially in desperation, we have our ears, eyes, heart, mind… our whole self open to help.

So it goes with these people of God lost in the desert. They called out and God was there with the help they needed. But what was it exactly that they needed? This brings me to what I find most striking about this passage. What stuck out to me is not that these people were desperate or that they called out to God or that God helped them. What is most remarkable is that this passage tells us the way God helped them and it may not be what we expect.

The passage says that “God delivered them from their distress; God led them by a straight way, until they reached an inhabited town.” God’s deliverance did not magically transport them out of the desert to their destination. Rather, God’s deliverance was from their sense of distress… their withering soul. They no longer felt alone. Though God was already with them before, now they knew God was present with them. Their emotional and spiritual experience of hopelessness was nurtured and they were delivered from their distress.

God also stayed with them and helped them journey on a straighter path that would lead to inhabited towns where they could be replenished along the way. I thought this was an interesting passage so I looked up the history of people finding passage through the desert. What I found out is that there is no path because in the desert, the sand is always moving. Even the sand dunes moved. So the way one group went was not the way another went. What they did was that the leader would get their bearings on the direction they needed to go and they would try to walk a sort of wavy path around the sand dunes. That way they expended their energy more efficiently walking on level ground rather than up and down dunes. The path would be longer but they would not be so tired. So the path they traveled may have made them miss an oasis or small town, thus missing an opportunity for fresh water and a straw mattress.

So when this passage says that God led them on a straighter way that passed through towns, they are not saying that all was easy. Being delivered didn’t mean they were suddenly without work to do. They did not go from roughing it to sitting by the pool with an umbrella drink. And they did not suddenly arrive at their destination. They were still in the midst of a long and perilous journey… but they were not alone. God’s presence in the form of steadfast love stepped in and transformed their experience of the desert.

So let’s linger here for a bit. They clearly understood this as action as God’s love for them. They even said, “Let them thank the Holy One for this steadfast love, for God’s wonderful works to humankind. For the Holy One satisfies the thirsty, and fills the hungry with good things.”

So what happened to them? They found satisfaction and fulfillment along the way. They experienced God’s actions as wonderful works towards them. They were open to help and received it.

But what did this help look like exactly? They don’t say that a booming voice came from the sky directing them. They really don’t say much at all. But they are clear that God was with them along the way.

Honestly, I don’t think their experience of God is much different than our own. When God’s love shines through the faces of other people, if we are open to it, we recognize it as God. When God’s love holds us through the dark places, if we are open to it, we recognize it as God. When God’s love guides us to make decisions that are best for our families and communities, if we are open to it, we recognize it as God. And when God’s love lightens our hearts and fills us with hope, if we are open to it, we recognize it as God.

But the key here that seems to be that their fulfillment and even ours today is that God helped them along the way. So often we pray for things to be fixed. Or we want the miracle cure. Sometimes we desire a change but without all the work. But these people found God’s help along the way.

What do our lives look like when we receive God’s help along the way? Well, it usually means we still have work to do of some sort. But it also means we have something we’re focusing upon. It may not be a destination. Perhaps it is an ideal instead.

Have you ever been involved in one of those trips where everything just seems to go as planned? I think it would be very easy to attribute that to God… and rest assured, God was there. But the times I am more keenly aware of God are when things aren’t going well. Because if we’re open to it, we find unexpected help, meet new people that make our world brighter, and become better people for the journey.

I have spent a lot of time talking with cancer patients during my own treatment. Attitude is what seems to make the biggest difference in how people experience it. I’ve met people who feel like everything that can go wrong will go wrong with them. They feel like the world or God is out to get them. But others who have almost identical circumstances talk of all the great new people they’ve met. They share stories of how they found new interests and hobbies they would have never even thought of otherwise. They share stories of how a certain nurse is surly an angle because she always has the right words to comfort. Life isn’t just happening to or at them. Life is happening with God at their side.

Sisters and brothers, this is a passage about life happening. Life includes the joyous and the tragic and all that lies in between. Not all these events happen because of God but God is in the midst of them and still with us after them. Our job is to be open to God’s help. Our job is to keep journeying. Our job is to share in the journey with others around us. And we do this with hope knowing God is with us all along the way.

Amen

Resurrection... Now and Always

As a Christian I've struggled to make the resurrection meaningful and real. Even as a cancer survivor, it does not always seem to make sense. But resurrection is not about mere survival. Resurrection is about transformation, thriving, and a lived life beyond our previous imagination. May we all experience resurrection now and always.