Peaceful Refuge

Advent 2B – sermon based upon Psalm 34:1-7, 15-22 & Luke 2:1-20

Good morning. As we continue to make our way toward Bethlehem, we are looking more deeply at some of the gifts that Advent brings. In case you missed it last week, each week in worship we are tying in the theme from the Advent devotional in a variety of ways.  The music, liturgy, and even the scriptures have been chosen to walk us through the true gifts of this season.  This past week, we've explored the gift of faith.  On this second week of Advent we're looking at the gift of peace.  And new life and love are the themes we'll connect with in the coming weeks. 

So today, we have a story of what it looks like to  have nearly everything you think could go wrong, go wrong and still it turns into the best Christmas ever... well, I guess it's the first Christmas ever.

All joking aside, it really is one of those stories that we might be tempted to rush to the happy ending and say it all worked out.  But it wasn’t easy to get to that happy ending.  A nine month expectant mother and her fiancé had to take a dangerous trip because the government needed to tax them.  Upon arrival, there wasn’t room for them in the inn nor did they have the money for a nicer place.  We can assume they didn’t have family in the area either.   They were all alone and in a bind.  But they found refuge in a barn and in the end discovered blessings and a peace they could have never imagined.

Most of us are unlikely to have such an experience that is still being told over 2000 years later but it is much like many experiences we have all had.  For example, on the way to what was supposed to be a special dinner out for my grandmother’s 75th birthday, we got a flat tire.  Then, I stained my shirt changing the tire. At this point we’re running late and if you knew my grandmother, you’d know that punctuality is next to Godliness.  By the time we got to the restaurant, we were so late they gave away our reservations.  So, we walk down the road to a greasy spoon diner because it's the only place without a wait and we're tired and hungry and cranky by this point so we go in. 

Once inside, we meet a server who smiles and treats us like family.  She brings us coffee without asking because she can see we're cold.  She tells the soup is no good but the meatloaf is outstanding.  And it turns into an evening of comfort and refuge in an unlikely place.

That is a true story and I can tell you lots of others.  In my work at the hospital, I meet people all the time who think the worst thing that could ever happen to them would be for their child to be sick and in the hospital.  They cry with agony and worry about how they don't think they can handle it.  They wonder where God is and why this is happening.  They feel alone and lost in a strange place.

But if they keep their eyes open and don't succumb to the despair, what they find is people that have their best interest at heart.  They feel hands of care and concern that will hold them in the tough moments.  They experience support that comes in unexpected forms and packages.  And most importantly, they find God working in their lives, even in this unfamiliar and scary place.  I can't tell you how many families when referring to the hospital say to me something like, "This place has been the home we never expected and blessing we didn't know we needed."

Life is like that.  Just when it isn't going the way we wanted, we find that God has prepared a place for us where we least expected it.  And God is like that.  When we toil in the brokenness of the world, God reaches out making a safe harbor in humble and unexpected places. 

So, what do we make of all this?  Why is it that sometimes we find God in the dark places and sometimes we don't?  Is it that God wants to help us some of the time and other times we're on our own?  Is it that God picks and chooses on supporting us?

Well, I don't think it works that way.  From what we learn in this scripture and what I've seen working at the hospital and in my own life, I believe that God is always reaching and supporting us even if we can't always see it.   And more than that, I suspect that we would be far worse off if God weren't constantly reaching toward us to help and support us.  Oh, it’s true that sometimes we succumb to despair or become blinded by bitterness or get lost in the mire of worry so much so that we can no longer see God's work and provision for our lives.  But when we can stay open to God's work, amazing things happen.

Let’s think back on this story for a minute.  If Mary had let the worry of such a long journey overcome her, we wouldn't have such an amazing birth story.  If Joseph had let the frustration about having to travel at such an in convenient time blind him, he might have mouthed off to the inn keeper and not even gotten to use the barn.  If the shepherds had been more concerned with their own matters, they would have missed seeing the young messiah.  Things in this story weren’t going so well for them but they kept journeying forward faithfully.  And because they did, they found God’s love and provision laid out for them.

See, this journey toward Bethlehem is one of unknowns and fears like we talked about last week.  But faith is journeying forward anyway.  Yet, God gives us more than what we need for just a faithful journey.  We can find peace along the way.  We can know safe havens and helpful nurture.  We can experience God's love and work for us that is present and reaching to us even when we can't yet see or receive it.  But when we can, peaceful nights of sleep, calm in the storm, and blessings in the midst of difficulty are there for us to claim.

So how do we tap into God’s support for us when we’re just nearly so overwhelmed that we can’t take another step?  How do we keep from letting frustration about our circumstances and disappointments get the better of how we deal with it so we can be open to the peaceful refuge God has offered?  And what does that refuge even look like?

Well, just like in our biblical story and the stories I told, it requires openness on our part to believe in and see God’s blessing in the tough times.  I’m not saying that we have to just be optimistic.  Being optimistic is not always realistic.  For example, we can’t use positive thinking to take care of mortgage difficulty or brokenness in our relationships.  Optimism alone in such situations would leave us homeless and alone. 

Instead, openness to the goodness around us is more like faith than optimism.  It’s listening to that inner voice to pick up the phone and call a friend for help rather than toughing it out alone.  It’s allowing ourselves to see something differently so that we recognize the blessing instead of seeing just another obstacle.  It’s knowing that we are really not alone and that if we hold fast to what is truly important, we will find safe harbor even if it doesn’t look like what we expected. 

Sisters and brothers, the journey to Bethlehem was a tough one but God provided from them in ways they didn’t know and couldn’t expect.  Still today, God is working in our lives to help us along the way.  As we journey in faith, may we always be open to the peace and refuge that God offers regardless of what it looks like.  May we support one another to ease the burdens.  And may we truly experience God’s provision for us when we need it most.  Amen.

National Coming Out Day

I've never really known what to say about National Coming Out Day. It is brave to come out. It is no less brave to protect people by not coming out. Not all people can come out because they lack the support, emotional energy, and safety. I grieve for them, not judge them. Yet, I celebrate those who can come out and enjoy the integrity that transparency offers. I pray for their safety every day. I've been out over 20 years (I'm only 36). It's been worth it to make smart choices yet seek transparency when it is possible. Thank you to all those who have made it possible to share of myself fully. You are the ones I celebrate most today.

I, You, and We

I, You, and We <-- audio file of sermon based upon Jeremiah 29:1,4-7

Good morning. Last week we studied a pastoral letter from Paul to Timothy and his church. It was a letter of encouragement and a calling to stay connected with their core gifts and faith. This week we have a letter from Jeremiah which is also a pastoral letter but one that is prophetic. Paul’s letter was telling people how to cultivate faith here and now. Jeremiah’s letter is looking toward the future and setting out the vision of how to still be a thriving people in the future.

Even though we only read a small piece of this letter, it’s part of a larger letter that to the Jewish people while they were in exile. See, to really get the most out of this passage, we need to understand what was going on that Jeremiah was sending this letter. It’s a very painful time for the Jewish people. The Kingdom of Judah fell to the Babylonians and now the Jewish people have literally been deported to live in exile. Their homes have been taken, their religious center in Jerusalem has been destroyed, and everything they ever knew and trusted was turned upside down.

So here they are, living in Babylon amongst people and customs unknown to them but things aren’t safe and secure here either. This was a period of deep unrest throughout the fertile crescent. Empires had and would continue to rise and fall, taking lots of innocent people with them. The Jewish people were probably living amongst lots of people away from their homelands and the Babylonians could fall at any time uprooting them all once again.

This is a time of unrest, fear, and deep concern for their future. And it’s in this moment that Jeremiah writes to them saying,

Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.

You see Jeremiah was telling them to continue to do the everyday things that it not only takes to survive but to thrive. Continue to have children. Continue to cultivate relationships. Multiply.

Now, we need to be clear that this was a very different time and place than where we live now. Relationships were usually not about love. Marriages in that time were more like contract law, trade agreements, and alliance building for the safety of people. Few people in the bible or any ancient texts are said to have married for love or even come to love their spouses because this is a very different time of desperation. But what is clear is that in land full of danger and a time when babies and mothers died 50% of the time, having children was absolutely essential for people to survive so Jeremiah was clear that they needed to increase, not decrease.

Which all this leads us to what I think is the most important verse in the passage where Jeremiah tells them, “seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” “For in its welfare you will find your welfare”… That must have been pretty hard to hear as a Jew in exile. I imagine it was hard for Jeremiah to say. I mean, here’s this prophet who is usually offering messages of revolution and thundering power who is telling people to pray for and work for the betterment of the community they find themselves in. This must have seemed offensive to people who had been deported and robbed of the homes they once knew. But it is God’s message to them through the prophet Jeremiah nevertheless.

Just like Jeremiah knew their survival was wrapped up in continuing to have children he also knew that their future was now intertwined in the safety of the Babylonians. To work for peace in Babylon was to work for peace in their own homes and vice versa.

Now this is a pretty hefty message in just a few short verses. A good summary of this passage might be, to truly prosper, we need to take care of our own house as well as the house of others by working for peace and safety. But what does this mean to us? In this country, babies and mothers survive nearly all of the time. Instead of dying at a rate of better than 50%, they survive over 99.5% of the time. And we have the privilege of entering into relationships for reasons of love, not just survival. So what does Jeremiah’s message of I take care of my house, you take care of yours, and we take care of each other’s houses mean here and now?

Well, I think it means quite a bit actually. It is true that we are a far more privileged people than what the Jewish exiles were. But we still experience our own sense of exile and if we don’t personally, I guarantee you that others around us do. Look around… there are people out of work and living in economic exile. Sometimes that exile even means moving to a new place that take away all that is familiar just to find work. There are others of us that make moves to accommodate family needs like caring for an aging parent or being near schools that are good for our children. But while these moves are the right thing to do, they uproot us from home and force distance between us and what is familiar. Still others experience emotional and literal exile of being marginalized because of race, class, relationships, age, violent neighborhoods, and so much more. We need only read the headlines of bullying and the sorrow of isolation to know that many are living in exile among us.

This passage offers us a key piece of wisdom in the face of all our life circumstances. Safety and peace are the pathway to the future. Our own homes are at their best when we make a place of peace and safety in which to grow, love, and live. Our neighbor’s homes are at their best when they are safe to be who they were created to be. Our communities are at their best when we know we’ve got each other’s backs.

On this day, it’s Domestic Violence awareness Sunday in the Presbyterian Church and I believe this passage most definitely has a message to us on that subject too. If safety and peace are the pathway to the future, then they are the pathway to the future for us all. It can’t be that only some of us are safe while others are not. That’s the whole thrust of this passage. “For in its welfare you will find your welfare.”

Domestic violence has staggering statistics.

• A woman is beaten every 15 seconds in this country.
• Domestic violence occurs at least once in two-thirds of all marriages.
• 600 people are victims of sexual violence each day in the US. Only 53% are reported to the police. Few are ever prosecuted.
• 40% of teenage girls age know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
• More than three million children witness acts of domestic violence each year.

It doesn’t take long to become depressed when we take all this in. And statistically we all know people who are abused or are abusers… maybe even ourselves.

The statistics and the reality are so staggering that it’s hard to get our footing and figure out what to do about it. But this passage offers the key… safety and peace. Our own homes should be safe havens. If our homes currently have violence or relationships that aren’t loving and life filled, there is hope in redemptive love. Reach out for help. Reach to your neighbors. There is help and support. We can journey together and find strength as a community we didn’t know was there before.

If our homes are safe and loving places, make them available to others. Be the listening ear to our friends. Make it safe for our children to come talk with us as well as our children’s friends. We know that the first outcry for help usually comes to friends or to the parents of friends.

And don’t be afraid to do something. The effect of early and loving intervention in people’s lives cannot fully be accounted for. We are called to be in community… their welfare is ours. It is our job to offer support and be a safe haven. It is also our job to report crimes and seek professional intervention. But we are not called to be the saviors of others. We are not the police and therapist to our loved ones. We are their loved ones. But our community is large enough that we have professional organizations to offer help such as domestic violence shelters. If you are ever unsure of what resources are available, reach out to the police department, a pastor, a therapist, or someone else well connected with resources to help.

Sisters and brothers, Jeremiah tells us to “seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” In making our own homes and relationships safe places for thriving, we find our own welfare. In reaching out to others to help them have a home of safety, they find their welfare. I, you, we… we’re all wrapped up in this together. Whether it’s the emotional exile of depression or the exile of a violent home, we are in this together.

Seek peace. Be a safe harbor for others. And pray and work for the betterment and peace of the community. It was God’s will for the exiles and it’s still God’s will for our lives today. Amen.